Sometimes the American justice system is too complex even for trained bloggers, so someone please feel free to explain to us the moral rationale for this sequence of events: the NYPD has a "stop and frisk" program, expressly designed to harass minorities without probable cause, which is clearly unconstitutional. Earlier this month, a federal judge finally ruled that the NYPD would have to stop its stop and frisk program in a certain area, because it is, you know, unconstitutional. Now, that judge says that the NYPD can resume that same stop and frisk program temporarily, because—write this on your yellow legal pad, law students—stopping this unconstitutional program would be too much hassle, for the cops.

Nordic countries are known for eating some weird shit — so is it any surprise that one of the region's delicacies managed to shut down an entire tunnel for weeks after burning for days and releasing toxic fumes?

In a fiery exchange with Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson at the Senate hearings on last September's attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called Republican claims of administration incompetency — or a cover-up — "the biggest fairy tale I've ever seen."

A former child actor best remembered for being the original voice of Charlie Brown and providing the Peanuts character with his trademark "AAUGH!" was arrested Sunday evening upon reentering the United States from Mexico through the San Ysidro Port of Entry after border protection authorities learned he had an outstanding warrant in San Diego County.

When police in Trinidad and Tobago were dispatched to investigate reports of a gunshot coming from the area of a car parked in the town of Rio Claro, they did not expect to find a security guard slumped over the wheel after having just shot his penis off.

You may be able to quote the entirety of Rob Reiner's classic 1987 romcom The Princess Bride word for word, but the movie is entirely foreign to at least a few highly sensitive passengers aboard a recently Qantas flight from Sydney to Auckland.

Ever wonder what people who recorded themselves reacting to things did before the advent of gross-out videos?

Orangutans, they're just like us. No, really. Smithsonian.com's blog Around the Mall has a story today on apes at the museum's National Zoo that have been playing with iPads for recreation, using specially designed apps that allow six orangutans to make music, draw and play games to improve their cognitive skills. I'd note that the apes at the National Zoo are now literally more productive on a day-to-day basis than me, but they probably were even before they got the iPads.

Today, the New York Times ran a story titled "Restaurants Turn Camera Shy," about the push back against the now ubiquitous act of diners taking photos of their food. As one would expect of a Times trend story about frivolous bullshit, no one profiled in the story comes off as sane and/or respectable. But who's the worst? That's for you to decide. Here are the candidates:

It would be really nice if there was no use for this headline, but here we are. Men in power at religious institutions can still be gross, awful, perverted people — though that often seems to be inherent to "men in power."

It's never a dull day in Florida, our country's most fantastic state. Let's set the scene: It's Monday, January 21, and an unnamed North Fort Myers resident is lying in bed relaxing after a hard day's work. Just after 7 p.m., he hears a noise coming from his roof — he thinks it sounds like thunder. He goes outside to investigate the disturbance, when he sees 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni running on his house. Bruni leaps from the roof, tackling the man. Bruni is naked.

Ever wanted to be a policeman in Chicago? No? Me neither! But maybe we should all consider career changes, seeing as a few Chicago policemen (and other various city personnel) are probably making much more than you or I in overtime pay alone. The Inspector General of Chicago recently released its report for the fourth quarter of 2012, which includes the amount of overtime paid to city employees last year. It is a list of people that have figured their shit out.

What do you get when you combine the volatile tempers of professional chefs, the developing fine motor skills of children, and knives, knives, dozens of knives whirling through the air?

A North Carolina law prohibiting the state from compelling the spouse of a defendant to testify against their significant other has helped a former teacher escape statutory rape charges for sleeping with her student.

Here is the first picture of Benedict Cumberbatch from the BBC's Sherlock Holmes as Julian Assange in the upcoming Wikileaks movie The Fifth Estate. That sound you heard was Tumblr's servers exploding, given that a significant portion of all Tumblr blogs are dedicated to either Benedict Cumberbatch gifs or Julian Assange fan fiction.

Despite an earlier claim by a Marine Band spokeswoman that quite possibly invalidated the inauguration, a Marine Corps spokesman is now denying that the Marine Band has the authority to say whether or not Beyoncé lip-synched her performance of the National Anthem.

A mailman was making his rounds in Dover when he spotted two neighbors silently carrying bags of trash back and forth to opposite sides of the street.

Barack Obama is only one day into his second term as president, and already his is the most controversial, scandal-plagued tenure of any leader of any country ever.

Hedge fund: a Robin Hood-like tool for stealing from the rich and giving to... hedge fund managers.

Everyone — well, nearly everyone — was enthralled by Michelle Obama's ostensible shade-throwing in the direction of John Boehner during yesterday's Inauguration Day luncheon at the Capitol.