This Digitally-Altered Major-Key 'Losing My Religion' Is Very Unsettling

Max Read · 01/22/13 04:30PM

This version — edit? remix? — of R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion," digitally processed so that it now uses a major scale, is more than a little bizarre to listen to if you're used to the original. I think I prefer the "Major Scaled" version of "Riders on the Storm" (retitled "Riders on the Rainbow") which turns the ominous original into a pleasant, mellow, jazzy number.

Can Huge Man-Made Lakes Fix Our Rising Sea Levels?

Hamilton Nolan · 01/22/13 02:33PM

Welcome to an important new Gawker feature, "Hey, Science," in which we will have our most provocative scientific questions answered by real live scientists (or related experts). Never let it be said that reading this blog is not the educational equivalent of sitting in a Ph.D.-level classroom, not paying attention. This week, experts answer the question: Can we fix the problem of rising sea levels by constructing massive man-made lakes on useless land?

Does This Count As Coming Out?: Woman Admits She Isn't Transgender on Catfish

Rich Juzwiak · 01/22/13 01:40PM

On last night's Catfish, the show that dares to ask who's zoomin' who about people who have never met but are engaged in Internet relationships, the zoomin' was particularly fervent. Rod met Ebony via a gay/bisexual dating site, even though he claimed not to identify as gay or bi ("You can go on there to meet basically anybody," he said, not adding that "anybody" meant primarily gay and bisexual people). He also claimed to be his cousin "KJ" and sent Ebony pictures of KJ rather than himself over the course of their four-year correspondence.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/22/13 01:31PM

Those polite Canadians just cannot get enough of us insulting them. (n.p.) Hey, fuck the Toronto Symphony Orchestra.

Heroic/Insane Cop Jumps in the Path of an Oncoming Train to Rescue Fainting Woman

Max Read · 01/22/13 10:39AM

We recently suggested that the best thing to do if you fall onto subway tracks is to run away. But let's say you fall, unconscious, onto those tracks, as this woman did in Madrid earlier this week — well, your only hope is that an off-duty policeman is brave enough to leap into the path of an oncoming train and drag you to safety. As this officer, Ruben, did. (Ruben, by the way, is a good person to have around — last year he saved a four-year-old from drowning in a lake.) [Telemadrid]

The Ludicrous Mythology that Christian Colleges Teach as Fact

Hamilton Nolan · 01/22/13 10:05AM

Cedarville University is a Baptist college in Ohio with 3,000 students. The campus is currently engulfed in a minor uproar over the way it's enforcing its ideological beliefs. Let's take this opportunity to gape and marvel at what some people who run educational institutions actually believe to be true.

The Inaugural Ball's Jennifer Hudson Performance Countered by Cheez-Its, Stale Pretzels and Long Drink Lines

Taylor Berman · 01/21/13 11:57PM

Sure, if you go to the Inaugural Ball you get to watch Jennifer Hudson sing "Let's Stay Together" while the Obamas dance. But based on the dispatches from intrepid reporters at Obama's Inaugural Ball, those of us who were stuck at home should consider ourselves lucky; the conditions there sound atrocious — squalid, even. For starters, the food: the available snacks include "Cheez-Its crackers and stale pretzels." The horror.

Chris Brown Is the Latest Victim of 'Swatting'

Taylor Berman · 01/21/13 10:31PM

In case you're not up to date on the newish lingo for stupid pranks, "Swatting" is the act of reporting a fake crime or emergency at someone's home, which usually results in a SWAT team showing up and scaring the hell out of everyone at the nonexistent crime's location. Last week, Tom Cruise was swatted, perhaps resulting in an advertisement in The Atlantic; this week, it was gentleman R&B star Chris Brown's turn. According to TMZ: