John Cook · 05/20/13 05:00PM

Ray Manzarek, the keyboard player for the Doors who went on to produce records by X and Echo and the Bunnymen, has died at 74.

Creepy Auction Offers Chance to Be Servant for Downton Abbey Actor

Caity Weaver · 05/20/13 04:50PM

Everyone, from the dandiest Diddy to the poorest party spangler’s daughter loves Downton Abbey. Every week, we gather ‘round our television sets to watch our favorite characters die. “Why can’t I be a servant in the post-Edwardian era?” we cry as we watch the sallow-cheeked wait staff eat up screen time that should be devoted to the Grantham family’s glamorous problems. “Oh,” we gasp, when Lady Mary emerges in yet another devastating satin gown, “I wish I were a maid!”

Hamilton Nolan · 05/20/13 04:01PM

Scientists have finally detected deep-space neutrinos. That and a dollar will get you a Snickers bar.

Pistachios Are the Fifth-Best Nut

Hamilton Nolan · 05/20/13 02:10PM

I like pistachio nuts. In fact, I would say that pistachios are the fifth best variety of nut in the whole wide world.

Tom Scocca · 05/20/13 02:07PM

Surgeons at the Fourth Military Medical University in Xi'an, China, say they transplanted a genetically modified piece of pig liver into a Tibetan macaque this month, according to the state-run China Daily. The gene-altered pig-monkey was reportedly in stable condition at the army-affiliated research facility.

Vigils Continue for Mark Carson, Murdered in Anti-Gay NYC Shooting

Cord Jefferson · 05/20/13 02:01PM

More than 100 mourners turned up on Saturday night to a candlelight vigil for Mark Carson, the 32-year-old gay man shot and killed by a homophobe early Saturday morning in New York City. Carson's murder, which is being treated as a hate crime, is the latest and most violent in a recent string of anti-gay attacks in the city, a place whose progressive leanings have yet to fully overpower a resilient streak of homophobia.

Seamless Made Fun of My Dead Cat and Now It's Merging with GrubHub

Caity Weaver · 05/20/13 12:33PM

Seamless and GrubHub, two nearly identical online food-ordering companies whose business model consists of providing a service that is already available for free, announced Monday that they would be merging into one giant online food-ordering hydra. The new company, which has not yet settled on a name, will enable and promote social anxiety in 500 U.S. cities by eliminating the traumatic element of "human verbal interaction" from pizza delivery. The co-founder and CEO of GrubHub will serve as the CEO of the new Sterling Cooper Draper Seamless Grubhub. The CEO of Seamless will serve as president. If your cat dies, the new organization will probably start a twitter fight with you about it.

Quacks of All Political Persuations Fight Fluoridation In Portland

Adrian Chen · 05/20/13 11:44AM

In 2013 one can have many legitimate beefs with the medical and scientific establishment, but fluoridated water, like immunization, is not one of them. Still, it appears increasingly likely that a Left-Right coalition of dedicated fear-mongers will defeat a measure in Portland this week to fluoridate its water supply and help keep kids' teeth from falling out.

Foreign "Crazy Ants" Attacking Southern U.S.

Ken Layne · 05/20/13 11:15AM

Monstrous "crazy ants" from Argentina and Brazil have invaded Texas and the American Southeast, driving out the already awful fire ant and making life even more miserable for those living in the South.