Mayoral Candidate Charged for Defacing Signs with (Weak) Pussy Joke
It's Pussy versus Butts in a race to the bottom next Election Day in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania's ninth-largest (and capital) city, and a renowned "broke-ass sinkhole of despair."
PennLive reports that a Harrisburg mayoral candidate with a strong DIY-ethic has been charged with criminal mischief and criminal conspiracy after he was caught defacing the signs of a campaign rival earlier this month. With the help of a little black spray paint, a little elbow grease, and a little big SUV with out-of-state plates, seven of candidate Eric Papenfuse's "PAPENFUSE FOR MAYOR" signs were altered to read "PAPENPUSS! FOR MAYOR." Note the jaunty exclamation point for flair.
The candidate who defaced the signs was caught in the act by a taxi driver, who followed him to multiple locations as he and an unidentified accomplice made their "PUSS!" joke again and again. The cabbie took down the vandals' license plate number; it was later traced to a car owned by the candidate's sister.
PennLive called the effect on the outcome of the election "negligible" as the offending candidate "was polling somewhere between zero and 2 percent." One of the platforms outlined on his official website (which features, as a banner image, greenish portraits of Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and Harriet Tubman) reads, in part:
"Harrisburg has a lot of Glorious Architecture. Let's add more architecture."
Dauphin County's District Attorney speculated that the "PUSS!"-monster would be sentenced to probation for his crime, but receive no jail time.
Incidentally, defacing the vandal-candidate's signs in retaliation is unnecessary, as they have already been painted blue by God: His name is "Lewis Butts."
("Butts!")
