Finally, someone comes out and says it: New York magazine is built on a lie.

A North Carolina postal carrier who claimed she was unable to lift mail trays as a result of a 2004 on-the-job injury pleaded guilty to worker's comp fraud after Federal investigator proved she was lying. Exhibit A: Her 2009 appearance on The Price is Right.

A comprehensive new report from the ACLU about marijuana arrests in America confirms three key points: A) Weed arrests are overwhelmingly racially biased; B) Weed arrests consume an insanely large amount of money and resources; and C) Weed needs to be legalized, ASAP.

Jill Kelley, the financially troubled Tampa woman who inadvertently tipped off authorities to David Petraeus' affair, is suing the FBI and Dept. of Defense for defamation and loss of privacy. But if her privacy was so compromised, how come we still don't know what a "Tampa socialite" is?

Kai, the nonCHILLant hatchet-wielding hitchhiker, was arraigned yesterday in New Jersey. In response to being told that his bail would be set at $3 million, Kai told the judge, "Oh, fine. Cool."

A high school senior from Washington says she was left embarrassed and humiliated after being denied entry to her senior prom because her breasts are too big.

It now costs $92 to get into Disneyland, for god's sake.

Although Frank Bruni is a bad newspaper columnist, he does write for a very influential newspaper, even if he doesn't always seem to know it. But we can't expect Frank Bruni to always be writing about "news." Sometimes, you just wanna say, "Hey, Frank: could you opine on the current season, for 800 words or so?"

A Washington woman who suffers from cognitive and hearing disabilities says she was the victim of police brutality during a recent traffic stop which resulted in her arrest on a felony assault charge.

"It’s an illusion that more weapons will tip the balance between the two parties," the chair of a U.N. panel on the Syrian conflict said on Monday. "No one is winning."

The trial of Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius has been postponed until August.

Anna Burgese was enjoying another humdrum stay in Miami at the five-star W Hotel when, out of nowhere, she was beaten by a gang of prostitutes who believed the New Jersey mother (in her traditional Jersey attire) was another, rival prostitute.

Marine Major Mark Thompson, a former U.S. Naval Academy instructor, was sentenced to 60 days in jail and a $60,000 fine after being convicted last week of committing indecent acts, fraternization, and conduct unbecoming an officer. Thompson's crimes are related to a 2011 incident in which two female midshipmen accompanied Thompson to his home after drinking alcohol and attending a croquet match between the academy and St. John's College. One of the women would later say Thompson assaulted her.

Last week came news of the first-ever porn app for Google Glass. Today, the App, Tits & Glass, debuted, allowing users to record themselves having sex from their own perspective. And only hours after the App was released, Google shot it down.

A second protester has died while participating in a demonstration in Turkey, this time from a gunshot wound.

Paul Joseph Fronczak is not actually Paul Joseph Fronczak. Nor is he Scott McKinley. In fact, he has no idea who he is.

Spoiler alert.

Kaiser, a 2-year-old German Shepherd who has served valiantly as a member of the Plymouth (MA) Police Department's K-9 unit since he was five months old, had to be put down last week after a rapid decline in health due to a sudden onset of kidney disease.

Great news if you've been meaning to have a baby with Daniel Radcliffe for a while but have yet to broach the subject with him because you're worried he'll say no or won't know what a baby is or won't know who you are. (It's me, Daniel Radcliffe. The girl who lives in your cupboard. I'm ready to have a baby with you.) He is ready to have a baby with you. He's been waiting for you to ask him all along.

Ke$ha is "happy" that she drank her own pee on her reality show. This is what pride looks like in 2013.