Ladies, Daniel Radcliffe Is Ready to Give Birth to Your Child
Great news if you've been meaning to have a baby with Daniel Radcliffe for a while but have yet to broach the subject with him because you're worried he'll say no or won't know what a baby is or won't know who you are. (It's me, Daniel Radcliffe. The girl who lives in your cupboard. I'm ready to have a baby with you.) He is ready to have a baby with you. He's been waiting for you to ask him all along.
In a new interview with Time Out: London (excerpted by People), Radcliffe, who turns 24 next month, says he "definitely" wants to have a home full of children (BECAUSE THEIR TINY FINGERS ARE SO ADEPT AT STITCHING HIS FINE CRAVATES haha just kidding probably) and hopes "to get started on it" before he turns 30.
It's not exactly clear what Radcliffe means by "it" here: Does he want to already have a child by the time he turns 30? Does he want to have impregnated a human female by the time he turns 30? Does he want to have had sex with a woman by the time he turns 30? Does he want to move past a handhold by the time he turns 30? What does he want?
One thing he definitely (maybe) wants is a wife who is taller than him (he's 5'5) so that his offspring can "be good at sports," and just all-around superior human specimens.
Previous evidence (i.e. past girlfriends) suggests Daniel Radcliffe prefers women who have a body and a face. Nothing too fancy here.
He also told Time Out he loves getting beaten up.
"I love getting beaten up. I encourage people to just hit me."
So get out there and beat your way into his heart.
[Image via Getty]
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