Middle-Aged Guy Doesn't Like Twitter

Hamilton Nolan · 07/16/13 08:11AM

A coveted job writing for the New York Times op-ed page is considered one of the most exclusive gigs in journalism. And with good reason: the unparalleled intellect and experience of their columnists are simply without equal. Where else will you find some middle-aged dad with the wit and bravery necessary to proclaim: hey, I don't care for this "Twitter" thing?

Cord Jefferson · 07/15/13 11:53PM

Despite lots of chatter on Twitter tonight, the group in South LA "rioting" to protest the George Zimmerman acquittal doesn't appear to be rioting at all. The story thus far is that some people threw some merchandise to the ground in a Wal-Mart and jumped on cars. One person has been arrested.

Taylor Berman · 07/15/13 08:46PM

In an interview with Anderson Cooper, George Zimmerman Juror B37 said she “had no doubt” Zimmerman feared for his life during his confrontation with Trayvon Martin. She also said she believed Zimmerman would have reacted “the exact same way” if Martin had been white and that the jurors did not discuss racial profiling.

Cord Jefferson · 07/15/13 07:28PM

An Asiana Air spokesperson has confirmed that the airline will sue news station KTVU for damaging its reputation with a "racially discriminatory report." That erroneous report, you may remember, said that the captain of crashed Asiana flight 214 was "Captain Sum Ting Wong."

We're Sorry for Costing David Petraeus $199,999

Cord Jefferson · 07/15/13 05:46PM

Two weeks ago, Gawker contributor JK Trotter published evidence that the City University of New York was offering General David Petraeus a $200,000 salary for conducting a seminar on "developments that could position the United States...to lead the world out of the current global economic slowdown." Faced with only three hours a week of real work, the disgraced former CIA chief was set to be paid about eight times the salary of a first-time adjunct professor at CUNY, and all without having to teach a full course load. Today, it looks as if that deal has been scrapped.

Peppy Young Couple Enjoy Adorable Non-Stop Subway Date from Hell

Caity Weaver · 07/15/13 05:18PM

Last Wednesday, a couple of beautiful young people with smiles like high-fives and a love like a Roman candle, embarked upon an adorkable nine-hour journey through hell. It began at 14th Street in Manhattan and ended in the vast desert wasteland of the mind’s eye, their raggedy spirits trudging toward nothing on blistered feet, before finally collapsing to their knees and wailing at the endless sky “IS THERE ANYTHING MORE MADDENING THAN FOREVER?”

Wear Your Shorts Proudly, Men

Hamilton Nolan · 07/15/13 03:55PM

Now that we have officially entered the "hot as hell" portion of the year, it's time for a certain type of elitist East Coast male to begin his annual smear campaign targeted at the wearing of shorts by men. Who will be brave enough to stand up for the righteousness of the shorts-wearing man? We will.

Let's All Laugh at How Bad Kanye West's HBO Pilot Was

Sam Biddle · 07/15/13 03:27PM

Did you know: in 2010, someone uploaded a clip of Kanye West's improv sitcom HBO pilot to YouTube, and nobody noticed? Three full years and four Kanye albums have passed, and we haven't made fun of him for this. Let's do that riii-iiight now.