It was supposed to be a commentary on "the inaccurate depiction of vulvae in the mainstream media," but the comment was apparently lost on the censors who decided to order every copy of one august student newspaper destroyed for featuring too many real vulvae on the cover of its latest issue.

Idler of our generation James Franco is slouching towards television with a show of his very own. No more desperate phone calls to General Hospital's meta-department or begging for a revival of Francos and Geeks. Television network Ovation has signed on Franco.

Pfc. Bradley Manning has been sentenced to 35 years in prison. Manning, 25, was convicted of a host of charges, including espionage, over his leak to Wikileaks in 2011 of hundreds of thousands of classified documents, and faced up to 90 years in prison. In a hearing before his sentencing he apologized for his actions, saying "I'm sorry that my actions hurt people."

"Detroit," the name of an area of ruins that was a vast manufacturing center in ancient times, is having a tough run. It's lost a million residents. It's gone bankrupt. But one thing Detroit can still be proud of: its roaming packs of wild dogs.

The family of James DiMaggio, the man accused of kidnapping teenager Hannah Anderson and killing her mother and brother, is requesting DNA samples from Anderson's family. They say that they want to check if DiMaggio is the biological father of Hannah and the eight-year-old Ethan.

Talk about a tease: Just two weeks after releasing the sex tape equivalent of a dry hump, Sydney Leathers of Anthony Weiner fame has unleashed a full-(hard)on porno to satisfy the demands of her handful of fans.

Hundreds are said to be dead after what anti-regime activists in Syria are calling a government "poisonous gas" attack near Damascus. According to the rebels, forces loyal to President Bashar al-Assad fired "rockets with poisonous gas heads" in the outskirts and suburbs of the Syrian city.

The NSA's enormous surveillance system can access around three-quarters of all U.S. internet traffic, snaring in some cases even email sent between U.S. citizens and domestic web phone calls.

Caleb Clemmons, the 20-year-old former college student who was jailed for six months after making a prank threat on Tumblr, pleaded guilty to making terroristic threats on Tuesday. Clemmons was sentenced to five years of probation during which time he is prohibited from using any social media.

For the second summer in a row, '80s relic David Hasselhoff has starred in a deliberately cheesy advertisement for Cumberland Farms' Farmhouse Blend iced coffee. Last summer, the kitsch-nostalgia campaign was so wildly successful that according to the Boston Globe, the 600-plus in-store cardboard cutouts and pole signs of the Hoff were all stolen, later making social-media cameos at weddings, concerts, and even in a canoe.

According to an NBC News report, an "overwhelmed" National Security Agency still isn't sure which files Edward Snowden took with him when he fled to Hong Kong more than two months ago.

Remember four years ago when something happened to photogenic millionaire Taylor Swift while she was accepting a fake award at a ceremony held by a channel that exists to market cell phones to teenagers? Taylor Swift remembers too. It's the first thing she thinks about when she rolls out of bed and the last thing she pictures before she falls asleep. Her life is an endless carousel of misery, circling 'round and 'round that single moment. Every day she wakes up and discovers it is September 14, 2009; every day is the day after Kanye West's bizarre outburst ensured that the 2009 VMAs would forever be remembered as one of Taylor Swift's Top Four Worst VMAs Ever.

"Oh god Cher, what are you doing this time?" "Oh, just lip-synching in a shredded-newspaper-meets-Chaka Khan wig."

Last season, VH1's Basketball Wives franchise documented a sustained nadir in humanity, and a peak of the kind of extreme human behavior that viewers ostensibly sign up for when they tune in to watch a bunch of women who have been hired to argue with each other do so. Tami Roman eviscerated a woman for coughing. Evelyn Lozada and Suzie Ketcham hid dead fish around another castmate's hotel room. Lozada attempted to physically attack former BFF Jennifer Williams by climbing over a table.

A math class at an upstate New York high school has inadvertently stumbled upon what may very well be the scandal of the century: Nabisco's "Double Stuf Oreos" don't actually contain a double helping of stuff.

The UN is currently hosting a "Commission of Inquiry" about North Korea. The most impactful thing to come out of the commission's hearings will almost certainly be stories like the ones that were told to day by survivors of North Korean prison camps.

The New Republic, a small magazine and chronically unsuccessful business enterprise, turned its attention today to the problems and prospects of the New York Times, a large and historically solvent newspaper. What should the Times do? Who ought to buy the Times? What does Times executive editor Jill Abramson plan to do to get things "figured out"?

A haunting new PSA produced with crowdfunded dollars employs audio from the night of Trayvon Martin's murder in order to recreate the crime scene from the point of view of both George Zimmerman and one of the witnesses who phoned 911.

Shocking research concludes that rich people are entitled narcissists. NO FUCKING WAY!

A British tourist visiting Rockefeller Center suffered horrific injuries on Tuesday, after a New York taxicab jumped a curb where she was standing and severed her foot.