The Worm has left the DPRK.

A tale of Biblical overanalysis and high school angst, in comic form.

Example #4,080 of why it is not wise to videotape yourself breaking the law and then upload that video to the internet: Adam Tang, who allegedly filmed himself setting an unofficial speed record in a drive around the island of Manhattan, was arrested yesterday for reckless driving. Police also seized Tang's 2006 BMW Z4, according to the Associated Press.

Even with all that twerkin', the kids are alright: "The number of babies born to teenagers [in 2012] was about 305,000, less than half the peak of nearly 645,000 in 1970, according to the new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

On August 17, Hyon Song-wol, a North Korean pop star who was widely rumored to be a long-term paramour of man-boy dictator Kim Jong-un, was allegedly arrested on charges of pornography with 11 others. Three days later, a firing squad reportedly executed the group in front of their family members.

Earlier today, Good Morning America ran its interview with Shellie Zimmerman, the soon-to-be-ex-wife of George Zimmerman. During it, she explained why she recently filed for divorce: "I have been married to a person for almost seven years, and I don't think I ever knew him at all."

Less than a month after winning a special U.S. Senate primary election in New Jersey, Newark Mayor Cory Booker is cutting ties with his miserable failure of a startup, Waywire, a company he founded last year whose purpose is unclear at best. You may remember Waywire—whose scandals are detailed below—as the outfit that put a rich little boy on its advisory board and may have used Booker's influence to raise more than $1 million for its murky mission. Waywire also lost its CEO last month.

Discovery Health's Secret Sex Lives: Swingers is the show for people who wish Wife Swap featured actual wife-swapping. The four-part reality show premieres Saturday and profiles a handful of Atlanta-based male-female couples who indulge in "the lifestyle," which is shorthand for the practice of sharing sex partners with likeminded couples.

Chinese state media is reporting that a horrifying attack at a zoo in Guiyang has resulted in a small child having at least one of his testicles torn off by a monkey.

Now that's what I call a volcano.

The Wall Street Journal was shamed into a disclosure today, one week after it published an influential Syria op-ed without noting that the author has ties to a group that "subcontracts with the U.S. and British governments to provide aid to the Syrian opposition."

The following profile originally appeared in the March 2011 issue of Vogue magazine.

Nick Taranto — Harvard/Dartmouth alum, former Goldman banker, Marine infantry officer, and current CEO of cooking startup Plated.com — writes in The Huffington Post today that he met Syrian President Bashar al-Assad this one time, back in 2008, on a trip with his Harvard friends. Holy fucking shit! Assad was awesome. DUDE.

Not that there's a particularly intelligent reason to get the face of a person you've never met tattooed on your butt, but even as crappy reasons go, this one is truly asinine.

This is the third and final installment of @Seinfeld2000's original novel The Apple Store. In part two, Jary, Garge, Elane and Kragdar hit rock bottom. Jary, reduced to prop comedy, accidentally set Keny Banya on fire during his act and was fired from "Carot Top Present: The Originel King's Of Prop Comady Tour." He still managed to have sex with beautiful actress Amanda Seyfrede, but it was of small comfort. Kragdar got a gun. Evil Kenyan President Bary Obame smacked his head on the ground. And Garge found, and was rejected, by the love of his life: Lena Dunam.

"Zen" is far more than the sound that a ninja's throwing star makes as it whistles past your ear. Contrary to popular belief, the role of ninjas in Zen is minor, at most. What is Zen really about? Koans. What are koans? Oh ho.

A Texas man with an admitted aversion to snakes was unpleasantly surprised when he encountered an unexpected serpent slithering out of the toilet while he was attempting to drain his own snake inside the bathroom of a San Antonio Starbucks.

Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman says of the possibility of another financial crisis like the one in 2008, "The probability of it happening again in our lifetime is as close to zero as I could imagine." James Gorman is only 55 years old.

It was fun having a Nazi supervillain as pope, but it wasn't very good for the Catholic Church brand. The new pope, Francis, is working hard at giving the papacy a nicer public image. If you're bummed out about a relationship, for example, he'll call you and talk you through it.

Hello, there is a new survey out telling us EVERYTHING about the proud freshman class of Harvard. What are they like, these young, sexually frustrated leaders?