Usually, you only see the term "private re-homing" on message boards where pet owners seek new caretakers for unwanted animals. But, Reuters reports, there's a far more sinister context for the phrase—on another, scarily similar network of online bulletin boards where desperate parents advertise and abandon children they regret adopting from overseas.

A distressed Yale senior emails Gawker:

A few days ago, one time-abundant Tumblr user (is there any other sort?) taught his followers a trick designed to instantly transform over-sized gym shorts into stylish cocktail dresses.

Deric Lostutter, the 26-year-old Kentucky rapper who spearheaded Anonymous' campaign to bring attention to the Steubenville rape case, hasn't had an easy time since he was raided by the FBI and came out as the hacktivist KYAnonymous. His longtime girlfriend dumped him this summer, and he was fired from a job at Amazon after they learned of his Anonymous hacktivism. Now, he reveals he's been battling with alcoholism, entering rehab this weekend after a harrowing visit to the ER.

Secretary of State John Kerry said today that the U.S. strike on Syria he's advocating would be "unbelievably small," which is exactly the kind of half-cocked waffling that's come to define this entire affair.

Finally, tomorrow, after months of vaguely trying to follow the New York City mayoral race, millions of New Yorkers will enter ballot booths and choose their parties' mayoral candidates. Bill de Blasio? Christine Quinn? John Catsimatidis? We want Gawker readers to tell us all who we should absolutely not, under no circumstances, ever vote for, and why.

Earlier today, Lady Gaga graced the stage of Good Morning America to perform a Wizard of Oz-styled spin on "Applause," complete with several costume changes. (This era, she's really intent on wowing us with how many times she can change her costumes in one song, and I will admit that it is a nice distraction from the actual song.) During some down time, she supposedly talked to her attending "Little Monsters" about part-time rapper, full-time Twitter troll Azealia Banks. Banks was once rumored to appear on Gaga's upcoming ARTPOP album. Banks also recently attacked Gaga on Twitter for adopting and advocating a mermaid-inspired style, as Banks has also done. "Hey! No fair! You stole my mermaid style!" is an argument an actual 22-year-old woman made to another grown woman.

Ehh... no. [Via Copyranter]

Saturday Night Live has announced its guest-hosting schedule for the 39th season: Tina Fey with Arcade Fire; Bruce Willis with Katy Perry; and a delicate little flower whose name rhymes with Highly Virus.

There are typos and there are typpos. And then there's misspelling your own high school's name on the cover of your own high school's yearbook.

The creator of Sam Adams beer is now a billionaire. It's your fault.

This child wants to be famous. Just doing my small part.

The US Department of Agriculture is planning to introduce a new program for safety inspections at pork plants across the nation. How is the new program different? It offers more poop in your meat.

We are terrorized by language every day! Word Terrorism is here to fight back, by collecting the worst examples of modern vocabulary and revealing the true meanings behind the most insidious terms. Your suggestions are both welcome and necessary.

Inspired by the recent spate of demolition and repossession crews razing and ransacking the wrong houses, one proactive Michigan man whose home was slated to be torn down allegedly switched his address numbers with those of his neighbor, resulting in the house next door being destroyed instead.

We've all been there. Many, many times.

A former patient of Southern California's Torrance Memorial Medical Center is suing the hospital after an anesthesiologist took advantage of her unconscious state to draw a black mustache and yellow teardrops on her face.

Alarming news for music lovers: the New York City Opera, which has performed in the city for generations, will have to cancel the rest of its season and all of next year's season if it doesn't raise $20 million soon. A tragedy, for the arts. Still, no one should give the opera $20 million.

Applicants for a mid-level job at a home appliance retailer say they were shocked when the store informed them their success hinged on their ability to defeat others in a dance-off set to Daft Punk.

USA Today, the newspaper of choice for angel-believers, today notes that "some"—a mythical group that is much discussed, but never quite pinned down—believe that the current situation in Syria could be a fulfillment of Apocalyptic Bible Predictions, Vol. One. Who are these wise, insane prophets?