Outback Steakhouse's New Business: "Challenging Convention"

Hamilton Nolan · 09/17/13 08:35AM

Stodgy, hidebound members of the establishment (who wouldn't know a bold new idea if it bit them in the ass) might not like to hear this, but we're going to get right up in their face and tell them anyhow: Outback Steakhouse is back— rebelliously.

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 11:02PM

The latest on Colorado's devastating flooding: 8 are confirmed dead and 1600 homes have been destroyed in a flood zone nearly the size of Delaware. More than 600 people are still unaccounted for, though they're believed to be stranded in remote areas without phone service. Authorities are now warning residents to watch for rattlesnakes escaping to higher ground.

Toothless Man Bites Neighbor’s Penis “Like a Sandwich”

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 10:14PM

Jason Martin, 41, has been found guilty at the Canterbury Crown Court in Kent, UK for biting the penis of his neighbor, Richard Henderson, 39, during an argument over loud Xbox music. Henderson apparently sent Martin a text asking him to turn down the music and the fight escalated in person when Martin, who only has one tooth, bit Henderson’s penis so hard it required stitches. A combination of a headlock and Henderson wearing pajamas made it all possible.

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 09:18PM

Pentagon officials have said they will wait 24 hours before releasing the names of those killed in today's Navy Yard shooting. The Washington Post's latest report is that 13 are dead and 14 are injured.

Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Mink Capes Will Go Up For Auction Tomorrow

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 09:01PM

If you’ve ever wanted to own a lady’s sheared mink jacket with 40% silver fox sleeves, just make sure to bid on this auction tomorrow. Not only will you get your hands on a sweet piece of mink, you’ll also help Jesse Jackson Jr. repay the $750,000 in campaign funds he spent illegally. Jackson Jr. pled guilty to misusing the campaign funds in February and was sentenced to 30 months in prison.

New Greatest Obituary Ever Means Obituaries Are a Thing Now

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 07:37PM

Worrying about death is bad enough, but now we must worry about who will write our obituaries when we die. This is because crazy obituaries are now officially a thing: if yours isn’t good enough to be shared by people online, well, you’re not only dead, but your life was boring as fuck.

Cord Jefferson · 09/16/13 06:30PM

A middle-aged man—he looks like a stockbroker dressed for Hooters—was just arrested for throwing lit firecrackers onto the White House lawn. This is not generally advisable behavior, but it seems especially stupid after the day D.C.'s been having.

North Carolina Soldier and His Wife Arrested for Making Dog Porn

Lacey Donohue · 09/16/13 06:11PM

Ruben Chance James Fox and his wife, Amber Nicole Fox, both 23, were arrested Monday morning in Raeford, North Carolina and charged with multiple counts of crimes against nature involving bestiality, disseminating obscene materials, and conspiracy. Amber Fox was additionally charged with soliciting a crime against nature. Ruben Fox is a soldier with the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg.

The New York Times, if Every Word Was Removed Except "Cyber"

Max Read · 09/16/13 04:26PM

Today on io9, Annalee Newitz traces the history of the word (and prefix) "cyber"—as in cybernetic, cyberpunk, cybersex, and the recent favorite "cyberwar." Here's a New York Times article from earlier this year, with every word except "cyber" removed.

Study: White Country Boys are the Drunkest

Hamilton Nolan · 09/16/13 04:06PM

Those of you who were fortunate enough to attend a high school with white, rural, male students will be unsurprised to learn that white, rural, male high school students are wasted. So, so wasted.

Is Rebel Wilson Fat?

Rich Juzwiak · 09/16/13 03:58PM

Is Australian comedian Rebel Wilson fat? Does anyone know? Lynn Hirschberg, maybe?