This morning in a Toronto court, popular ex-CBC Radio host Jian Ghomeshi was cleared of four counts of sexual assault and one count of choking to overcome resistance.

Before we get down to business, here is a TL;DR version of this post:

If you want to go to college, try community college. Try public college. Try the school of hard knocks. Do not, however, pay money for a degree from an online, for-profit school. Studies say: no!!!

Wisconsin’s primary elections next month will mark the first time voters will be required to present a government identification at the polls since Governor Scott Walker signed a voter ID bill into law in 2011. That legislation also requires the state to fund an educational campaign about what forms of ID are acceptable—and the state hasn’t done it.

The Department of Justice has announced an indictment against seven government-sponsored Iranian nationals accused of internet-based attacks against the United States, including one who managed to gain control of a picturesque Westchester dam’s flood release controls.

A lawyer for suspected terrorist Salah Abdeslam says his client, who is currently in custody in Brussels, would very much like to be extradited to France, where he intends to “explain himself.”

Republicans, you will be happy to know that the guy who is the sober alternative to Donald Trump is being advised on economic policy by the guy who helped lay the groundwork for most recent total collapse of the global economy.

Inside today’s Wall Street Journal and New York Times are two different, full-page ads about essentially nothing draped in the rhetoric of social justice written by what I imagine was a third party branding agency at the behest of a CEO in order to promote the pseudo-advocacy of a sprawling American coffee chain. We live in dumb, predictable times.

The Obamas are in Argentina, where they both gamely danced the tango last night at a state dinner. Parents are so embarrassing.

On Wednesday, a federal judge in Manhattan dismissed a lawsuit filed against Trump Model Management, ruling that Alexia Palmer, the Jamaican model who brought the putative class-action suit, had provided insufficient evidence that she’d been defrauded or had been denied fair wages.

This morning, a recently deposed top police officer in Alabama told AL.com that he had heard audio of the state’s governor, Robert Bentley, having a sexually charged conversation with Rebekah Caldwell Mason, a top advisor who, dating back to last year, has been rumored to be the governor’s mistress. Late this afternoon, the audio of that conversation leaked, forcing Bentley to hold a press conference in which he apologized for his remarks while still maintaining that he and Mason never had an affair.

Individual instances of Donald Trump’s (seemingly ambivalent) embrace of Twitter’s white supremacist community have been well documented. However, according to a report from Fortune, Trump’s affinity for right-wing social media accounts goes beyond intermittent retweets.

The Brooklyn district attorney, Ken Thompson, is not seeking prison time for former New York City police officer Peter Liang, convicted of manslaughter last month in the fatal shooting of Akai Gurley, per sentencing recommendations submitted to the State Supreme Court on Wednesday.

On Tuesday, Hillary Clinton released, via Twitter, the details of her “three-part plan to defeat ISIS in the Middle East, around the world, and here at home.” With all due respect to the former secretary of state, here is Gawker’s plan:

According to the Washington Post, Najim Laachraoui, 24, who died after detonating a suicide bomb at Zaventem airport in Brussels yesterday, is believed to have also helped make explosives used (poorly) in ISIS’ attacks in Paris:

The NYPD can be relied on to take down or arrest all manner of dangerous criminal in New York: drug dealer, gang man, subway knifer, extremely famous tennis star, murderer, burglar, sidewalk griller. Now we can add another class of lowlife to the list: friendly neighborhood mailman.

In New York City, you find subcultures for every sexual persuasion, bars dedicated to every football team, and food from every nation on earth. Hell, you can even find a few hundred people who support Ted Cruz.

A piece of art inspired by the minor scandal currently unfolding over a Denver municipal building, in the style of the pieces of art that inspired the scandal, might look something like this: a painting of a piece of art hanging on a wall, and the art is just the word “ART” painted in red on a canvas, and a policeman is trying to take the art down, and the artist is trying to stop him.

Woe be unto those who conflate the way things are with the way things play out in their social media feeds. Steve Grand, an internet-famous gay musician, now has plenty of evidence of this after an observation of his in an interview with PrideSource caused a furor, by the internet’s standards (but in actuality is just people weighing in on a thing that other people are talking about because all we have is time to fill between our being born and dying). To interviewer Chris Azzopardi, Grand said:

New York City Transit officials are planning to release inert gas and DNA particles into the subway system in order to study the effects of a terrorist bio-attack, the New York Post reports. This is a waste of time, because terrorists are much more likely to just kill us with guns.