Starbucks: Shut Up and Make Coffee That Isn't Garbage

Inside today’s Wall Street Journal and New York Times are two different, full-page ads about essentially nothing draped in the rhetoric of social justice written by what I imagine was a third party branding agency at the behest of a CEO in order to promote the pseudo-advocacy of a sprawling American coffee chain. We live in dumb, predictable times.

Take a look at this poem of nothingness and tell me if you can discern a single actual scruple or stance being taken:

.@nytimes ad from @Starbucks today reads like presidential race commentary pic.twitter.com/KgJVntSkJp

— Tracy Novick (@TracyNovick) March 24, 2016

What is an “Upstander”?

Does the ad in the Journal make any more sense?

Starbucks calls for unity and reflection amid "hatred and vitriol" in a full page ad in @WSJ today pic.twitter.com/WXBGlqvrF8

— Jane C. Timm (@janestreet) March 24, 2016

No.

“This is not about the choices we make every four years.
This is about the choices we make every single day.”

Starbucks: Please choose every day to stop cheapening the national discourse.