Russian President Vladimir V. Putin has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

He first called them assholes. He then told them to fuck off. And now he's called them "zebra queefs."

Rep. Marlin Stutzman (R-IN) has summed up the GOP's entire stance to the Washington Examiner: "We're not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this. And I don't know what that even is."

Using his security camera, Mark Zarsky, a commercial real estate broker living outside Houston, Texas, captured what he believes to be a process server urinating spitefully in his driveway.

Here is an updated list of all lawmakers who are refusing their pay during the government shutdown. Only three of the Terrible Ten Republicans are currently on the list: Mark Meadows, Paul Broun, and Phil Gingrey, who, according to a spokeswoman, "will contribute those wages to the U.S. Treasury for debt reduction."

Over on the New Yorker's website, Ryan Lizza identifies a "suicide caucus" consisting of eighty right-wing Republican representatives whose hard-line position on Obamacare and the budget has given us the government shutdown. But what about the suicide caucus' suicide caucus?

Native Americans are some of the underrecognized victims of the shutdown: "In South Dakota, Yankton Sioux Tribe Vice Chairwoman Jean Archambeau said the shutdown means money for heating assistance won't be coming this fall. 'I don't know what we're going to do,' she said."

Wayne Klinkel of Helena, Montana was reimbursed $500 Monday by the federal government after the family dog ate a wad of cash at Christmastime. In December, Klinkel and his wife left Sundance, their 12-year-old Golden Retriever, in the car while they ate at a diner; after eating, they realized the cash they’d left in the car was gone and that Sundance, who eats “anything in sight,” was responsible for the disappearance.

President Obama just finished a 90-minute meeting with congressional leaders at the White House. After the meeting, House Speaker John Boehner told reporters that Obama "will not negotiate." And Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid told reporters that Boehner "cannot take yes for an answer.”

A tipster writes in to correct our earlier post featuring (what we thought was) a GIF of Bill de Blasio attempting to break dance in 1994, saying "the Times was wrong, it's actually his college roommate. He does dance later in the video, and we made you a new gif of that."

The Circle, Dave Eggers’ new novel about an increasingly totalitarian social networking corporation, won’t hit shelves until next Tuesday. But the work of “pure speculative fiction,” which was excerpted on the cover of last week’s New York Times magazine, has already earned adulation from fans in high places (the Wall Street Journal called Eggers a modern-day muckraking Upton Sinclair) and accusations from critics on the margins—in particular Kate Losse, former ghostwriter to Mark Zuckerberg, who says Eggers ripped off her 2012 Facebook tell-all, The Boy Kings.

Parents disowning their children for coming out is, unfortunately, far too common for 2013. But parents disowning their children for disowning their children for coming out? Not common enough.

In Chicago today, "The billionaire who created Beanie Babies broke down crying." Does it really matter why?

So many Internet "pranksters" deserve to get hit very hard in a sensitive region for the stunts they pull, but, sadly, few ever do.

We get tips. Lots of them. Sometimes Gawker features editor Tom Scocca responds to them. These conversations are memorialized here in an occasional feature we call Tom Tips Back.

Crossfit is an exercise program with pluses and minuses. On the plus side, it really will get you in good shape. On the minus side, its adherents sometimes resemble intolerably intense cultists, and also, it turns out, it's run by extreme libertarians who enjoy sharing pro-capitalist philosophies, to go with your squats.

New York City-based restaurant guide Zagat has declared that the best pizzeria in America is in...Long Beach, California, a city decidedly removed from "The Pizza Belt." New York should blame Bloomberg for this, too.

An Arizona man who called 911 to report that his girlfriend was on fire says he never expected to get laughed at by the dispatcher.

Marina Shifrin was a young gainfully employed person working for Taiwanese company Next Media Animation until she became disenchanted with her managerial mandate of "make deadlines, not art" and decided to quit rather publicly, in a YouTube selfie of her dancing to Kanye West's "Gone."

Users of the popular online dating site OkCupid who are looking to avoid sullying their search results with unattractive people can now filter out the undesirables courtesy of a recently installed feature — but they'll have to pay extra for the privilege.