Get Shot!, a California punk band that bills itself as "the sleaziest punk band in the world" and "the first band ever to start a porn site," is particularly proud of its latest release: A porn "film" shot entirely on the front lawn of the Westboro Baptist Church.

Yale University, a squirrel-less arrangement of faux-ancient stone buildings in southwestern Connecticut, has a major pooping problem. Since the beginning of September, someone—almost certainly a Yale student—has placed human feces, urine, and/or food in running dryers installed in Saybrook College, one of the university’s residential colleges. Now Yale’s own police force is hunting down the pooper.

After six rounds of elimination and tens of thousands of votes cast, the Gawker Privilege Tournament has concluded. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the Least Privileged Group in America:

Football playing 5-year-old Kaden hails from Raven, Virginia, and totally owned the stage of the If I Was a Rich Girl Pageant Riches Mini National (what subjunctive mood?) pageant on last night's Toddlers & Tiaras. This kid knows swag before he even can comprehend what swag is. Also, please note the gratuitous currency theme of the pageant. One of the categories was "money wear," which prompted Kaden's mom to dress him in a suit jacket lined with "money, real money...like, cash." This kid is already learning all of the lessons he'll need for a highly successful life.

In an open letter ostensibly intended for Miley Cyrus, legendary singer-songwriter Sinead O’Connor makes several powerful statements concerning the current state of music, the music business, and the world writ large that every single person should read, irrespective of their wrecking-ball-riding and/or sledgehammer-licking experience.

It's October 3rd.

On Wednesday, local news station WPSD 6 caught Republican Senators Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul discussing the GOP's government shutdown strategy on a hot mic.

"You could watch that performance from the VMAs and think that it's a hot mess, but it's a strategic hot mess," said Miley Cyrus on last night's MTV special Miley: The Movement. Well, it's about time someone said it.

Earlier this week, Mojtaba Ahmadi, a commander at Iran's Cyber War Headquarters, was found shot to death in the woods near Karaj, a town northwest of Tehran. Ahmadi is the sixth prominent member of Iran's scientific community killed since 2007, a tally that includes five nuclear scientists and the head of the country's ballistic missile program.

People slightly older or younger than you: what bizarre and despicable customs do they adhere to? How is the culture of them and their peers inferior to your own personal beliefs and practices? The shocking answer: Jesus Christ, this is all bullshit.

Rep. Todd Rokita (R-IN), a member of the House Committee on the Budget, was invited to discuss the government shutdown on this morning's CNN Newsroom, but the congressman seemed far more interested in hitting on the host instead.

With one month left before New York City elects its next mayor, Democrat Bill de Blasio has achieved a fifty-point lead over Republican Joe Lhota. As the pollsters at Quinnipiac University put it: “Bill de Blasio's landslide is picking up speed in the New York City mayoral race and threatens to bury Republican Joseph Lhota 71 - 21 percent among likely voters.”

If you aren't familiar with how a "slap bet" works, please allow How I Met Your Mother's Marshall Eriksen to explain: "Whoever's right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can. But no rings."

Misanthropy meets assholism in today's Boston Globe to joyous effect, as house curmudgeon Alex Beam reviews a new memoir from preening celebrity-lawyer/lawyer-celebrity Alan Dershowitz. Beam wastes no time getting to the highlight:

Did hackers take down New York's Obamacare exchange yesterday? Some security experts think so.

In an astounding confrontation that took place yesterday at the World War II Memorial in DC, a Tea Party congressman from Texas appeared to blame the Park Service for denying veterans access to the facility — and then made a Park Ranger apologize for the shutdown. "How do you look at them and ... deny them access?" Rep. Randy Neugebauer asked the unidentified Ranger in an incredible exchange that was caught on camera by NBC Washington.

In November, you will be able to buy this 59.6 carat flawless pink diamond at a Sotheby's auction for an estimated $60 million. Can't wait until then for an anniversary present? There's more!

At least 94 people were killed and hundreds more are missing after a ship carrying African migrants to Europe caught fire and capsized off the coast of an Italian island on Thursday. Authorities say as many as 500 people may have been on the boat, which reportedly left from Libya earlier in the week.

The New York Times Style section today wrote a story about black people. The next New York Times Style section story about black people will return, with Halley's Comet, in July of 2061.

The New York Times published an infuriating report this morning that highlights the ways in which millions of poor Americans will be left without health coverage because 26 Republican-controlled states refused to expand Medicaid coverage. Two-thirds of poor black Americans and single mothers will be without coverage as will more than half of low-wage workers who currently lack insurance.