“My every waking hour is to try to stop Donald Trump from being our nominee,” Rand Paul once said of the man he will be voting for in November.

Most people are lucky to land one prominent role as a TV villain, but Katrina Pierson has two: Not only does she appear on cable news almost every night defending the unhinged, hateful words of her boss Donald Trump, she’s also somehow a cast member of “Sisters in Law,” a reality TV show about lawyers, I think.

Phew! Another April Fools’ Day come and gone. Did you make it through without falling for one of those hilarious pranks that brands, blogs, and businesses love to spring on us each year? Wait—don’t answer yet. Maybe you got punked without even knowing it! Here are some of today’s best practical jokes that you might have missed.

Andrew Sullivan, the political blogger who quit blogging over a year ago, has finally reappeared: According to this press release, he’ll be joining New York magazine as a “contributing editor covering politics and the larger culture.” Die-hard Sullivan fans may remember his epic relocation to, serial complaints about, and eventual departure from New York City—the glittering metropolis whose various industries and cultures serve as New York’s main editorial focus. We’re assuming the trauma of having the wrong couch delivered to his Chelsea apartment has subsided at least a little if Sullivan is knowingly associating with the city again.

Laney Sweet, the widow of Daniel Shaver, an unarmed man who was shot five times and killed by a Mesa, Arizona, police officer in January, is seeking to have body camera footage from the shooting publicly released. Sweet previously declined an apparent offer from prosecutors to personally view the footage on the condition that she not discuss what she saw with the media. She recorded and published audio of that conversation on YouTube.

Ever since last week’s National Enquirer story, people have been buzzing about the fact that multiple women have (allegedly) done sex with Ted Cruz—an outrageous and upsetting claim. But no one’s more upset than DePaul student Samantha Rivera. Samantha’s had to spend the past week insisting to the world that, no, she did not have sex with Ted Cruz.

A horrifying new dashcam video shows at least one white member of the Aiken, S.C. Police Department search inside a black man’s rectum for the apparent crime of being a passenger in a car with paper tags, which, it bears noting, is not a crime in the state of South Carolina. Driving a car with paper tags isn’t illegal either, as long as they aren’t expired.

For most of you, the day Marco Rubio dropped out of the Republican presidential race is the same day he disappeared from your life, perhaps forever. The same may not be true for me.

Remember when Donald Trump declared, ad naseum, that he’d hire only the “greatest minds” as president? Well that’s not going so well. The New York Times reports Trump had a closed-door meeting this week with Reince Priebus and several other top Republican National Committee members, during which he apparently acknowledged he had not exactly hired the best and brightest to work on his campaign.

Pennsylvania’s Supreme Court this week affirmed Ted Cruz’s eligibility to appear on its GOP primary ballot, indicating that a group of judges were able to conclude that the Canadian-born Cruz is both a citizen of the United States and a sentient human being.

Pro-John Kasich super PAC New Day for America released the below nightmare ad about “Lyin’” Ted Cruz yesterday.

The Washington Post reports the names of one in five police officers involved in fatal shootings go undisclosed—by their data, in the last year alone at least 210 people were shot by cops who were never publicly identified. In 65 of those cases, police straight-out ignored the Post’s requests for information.

Months after officially declaring an end to the deadliest Ebola outbreak on record, the World Health Organization is reporting that a deceased woman in Liberia has tested positive for the Ebola virus.

Last week, the Washington Post reports, the CIA forgot that it had placed “explosive training material” under the hood of a Loudoun County, Virginia, school bus. The bus took students to and from school on Monday and Tuesday this week—the material still hidden in the engine compartment.

According to BuzzFeed News, Breitbart.com’s brightest young mind is not an individual, but a hive: “Milo Yiannopoulos is not one person...That person does not exist. It is a collective consciousness of various different people who come and go.”

A watchdog group affiliated with Hillary Clinton supporters have filed a complaint with the Justice Department, Politico reports, accusing Donald Trump of engaging in an illegal quid quo pro with Ben Carson.

On Tuesday, following a rally at SUNY-Purchase, Greenpeace activist Eva Resnick-Day confronted Hillary Clinton, asking her whether she would stop taking money from the fossil fuel industry. Clinton, frustrated, jabbed her finger in Resnick-Day’s face: “I am so sick of the Sanders campaign lying about me.”

A Virginia state trooper and two other people were shot at a bus terminal in Richmond on Thursday afternoon. The trooper succumbed to his injuries, but the two civilians were expected to survive. The gunman was shot and killed by police. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reports:

The NYPD’s recent arrest of an on-duty mailman who had apparently committed no crime was so revolting that not even the NYPD could stand behind it. Lieutenant Luis Machado, who oversaw the arrest, was stripped of his gun and badge and placed on modified duty, the New York Daily News reports today.

George Mason this week scheduled a future campus PC incident by announcing plans to rename itself after a Supreme Court justice who, frankly, would never have hired one of its graduates.