A real-life Grinch was caught on camera last week swiping Christmas packages from the front porches of her neighbors' homes in Bothell, Washington.

Eliot Spitzer is secretly dating Lis Smith, the head spokeswoman of mayor-elect Bill de Blasio (and Spitzer’s former campaign aide during his failed run for New York City comptroller).

There's a lot going on in this home video of an intense confrontation between the Dark Knight and his archnemesis, the Wanna-be Times Square Gangsta — almost none of it canon.

This is the arch of swords, the longstanding funnysweet ritual that closes military weddings. This one, held at Fort Bragg, is a little different, though—in a lovely, historic way.

It started with a local news piece about illegal dumping in east Oakland, and ended with the reunion of two musical greats: Carlos Santana and his former Blues Band drummer Marcus "The Magnificent" Malone.

In 2013, we heard true stories from lots of people who were, to varying degrees, going through hard times. Military veterans. Workers at various low-wage jobs. Unemployed people. Let's remember a few of the year's most memorable true stories.

Before she passed away of ovarian cancer two years ago, Brenda Schmitz secretly left behind a very important letter in the possession of a friend with the explicit instruction that it be mailed to a specific Des Moines radio station once her husband had decided to remarry.

Semmes, Alabama, is named for a Confederate admiral. Shockingly, the people of Semmes, Alabama, felt a little weird about an "all-male, African-American gay dance team from Mobile" impersonating sexy Santa gals at their annual Christmas parade. If by weird, you mean irate.

Under new amnesty laws, two members of Russian punk collective Pussy Riot were released from Russian prisons on Monday, about three months ahead of schedule. In keeping with their general "Fuck Putin" stance, the women slammed the move as a "PR move" designed to make Putin look compassionate.

Prosecutors have downgraded the charges against the bikers involved in the Range Rover assault caught on camera in September, in part because the victim is healing well.

A New Jersey couple is suing real estate firm Coldwell Banker and two of its New Jersey agents for allegedly sabotaging sales so that the agents could use their vacant home to have sex.

Police say an on-duty rural Alaskan cop got drunk and sent dozens of sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old girl from a governmental cell phone.

[Dennis Rodman is having some trouble getting American basketball players to play in Kim Jong Un's birthday basketball game next month. “You know, they’re still afraid to come here, but I’m just telling them, you know, don’t be afraid man, it’s all love, it’s all love here,” Rodman told the AP. Image by David Guttenfelder via AP]

Mickey D's got itself into a bit of a pickle after making a bad bet on some chicken wings this quarter.

Elf advocates are successfully delaying Icelandic road projects due to concerns over the possibility of elf nesting habitats in rural lava fields. Concerns over the "hidden folk" are central to Icelandic culture — according to a 2007 poll, 62 percent of Icelandic residents think it's at least possible that elves exist.

[Workers of a gas station celebrate with friends and clients after winning the second prize of the Christmas lottery "El Gordo" ("The Fat One") in Spain. Photo by Andres Gutierrez via AP]

On Friday morning, Michael Bloomberg boarded the 7 train for a ride that lasted a single stop and cost the city $2.4 billion dollars. Where he got off on the far West Side, there is now nothing. In a few years time, there will be condos.

UPDATE 2: As of 6 p.m. ET, a detective with the NYPD was willing to confirm the following information on the record with Gawker: a man and child fell to their deaths from an unknown location at 124 W 60 St. in Manhattan. The adult landed at 425 W 59 St. and was pronounced dead on the scene. The child landed at 445 W 59 St. and was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. The case is currently under investigation, but the detective would not indicate whether the police department believes the incident to be a murder-suicide or an accident.

Despite the website glitches and non-stop disinformation, Americans have the next 24 hours to sign up for health care that will start on January 1st. If you haven't yet, maybe pencil in a 2-3 hour time slot (perhaps instead of watching your football team lose) to get health care.

Still no explanation from Jonathan Franzen on why he lied to a librarian or whether he'll go on a redemptive birdwatching trek with a few fellow avian enthusiasts.