Internet historians will no doubt look back at 2013 as the year we finally reached peak hyperbole.

Milwaukee has begun repurposing its surplus of cheese brine to de-ice its roads: "You want to use provolone or mozzarella. Those have the best salt content. You have to do practically nothing to it."

The Race War on Christmas sparked by Megyn Kelly's claim that Santa Claus is a white man was settled once and for all the way all truly ridiculous debates should be: In a wrestling ring.

The Italian marketing team for Steve McQueen's 12 Years a Slave seems to have the wrong idea when it comes to what the film is about. Contrary to what some may think, the movie details the time a free black man named Solomon Northup was kidnapped and sold into bondage in the antebellum South. It is not, as these Italian posters might lead you to believe, a buddy film highlighting the antics and struggles of Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender.

The New York Post knows a broad when it sees one. On Sunday the unprofitable tabloid published photos of Bill de Blasio’s chief spokeswoman, Lis Smith, inviting disgraced New York Governor and married man Eliot Spitzer into her Soho apartment. Very understandably, the paper wants her fired.

In a video uploaded to YouTube and promoted by her father’s administration today, Chiara de Blasio, the 19 year-old daughter of mayor-elect Bill de Blasio, confirmed that she has struggled with depression and substance abuse:

That Sarah Palin rushed to defend Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson's explicit anti-gay comments was not all that surprising. But that Palin didn't even bother to read what Robertson actually said before defending him, well, that's not all that surprising either.

Welcome to The 12 Days of Thatz Not Okay, a special holiday edition of a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Check back tomorrow for our next seasonal installment. As always, please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

[A diver dressed as Santa Claus surfaces after swimming in the Coral Garden tank at the South East Asia Aquarium of Resorts World Sentosa, a popular tourist attraction in Singapore. Photo by Wong Maye-E via AP]

When she found $1,000 on a chair in her section, Florida waitress Samantha Knight knew the right thing to do would be to track its owner down and return it to him. There was no way she could have known the man she chased after and handed the wad of cash to was the wrong person.

Remember the Montana judge who gave a lenient sentence to a teacher who raped his student, claiming the student was "older than her chronological age?" Turns out that's not his only, shall we say, questionable ruling.

Still looking for that perfect last-minute Christmas gift? Boy, have I got something amazing to show you. You won't believe your eyes.

The New York Times has a fascinating report about the story behind the execution of Kim Jong-un's uncle, Jang Song-thaek: According to the report, Kim ordered the death of Jang and his top lieutenants because of a dispute over North Korea's highly profitable clam and crab fishing grounds, which saw the North Korean military humiliated by Jang's loyalists.

What follows is a year-end holiday letter from the Machines.

Alan Turing, the legendary British computer engineer and codebreaker who killed himself two years after a 1952 conviction for homosexual activity for which he was punished by chemical castration, received a royal pardon on Monday from Queen Elizabeth II.

When a 19-year-old out for a midnight joy ride got caught in a speed trap traveling more than 100 miles per hour in a 45 zone, his troubles had only just begun.

Six months after exposing the NSA's secret surveillance program, Edward Snowden sat down with a Washington Post reporter, and over meals of burgers, pasta, ice cream and Russian pastries, explained that his personal mission has already been accomplished.

A Pennsylvania woman who tried to frame her estranged husband with child pornography has now been charged with possession of child pornography.

They don't call it la petit mort for nothing.