Teenage Floridian William Aydelott was arrested last night after his mother was found dead, with a knife sticking out of her eye. The Northwest Florida Daily News says he fessed up to the killing, "calm and emotionless," as soon as police took him in.

According to a team Russian forensic scientists, Yasser Arafat died of natural causes, not radiation poisoning as strongly suggested by a Swiss study released last month. But the authors of the Swiss study said that the Russian report was released without the "slightest scientific argument."

In most places, walking, the fundamental process of mobility for humans, is an indispensable activity, on par with breathing. In Los Angeles it is a crime, with an associated $200 fine.

With our most gracious and endearing apologies, we now present to you, in alphabetical order, the 22 Least Important Writers of 2013. Please enjoy, if possible.

Continuing his recent publicity blitz, Edward Snowden delivered Channel 4 UK's annual "Alternative Christmas Message" yesterday afternoon. As you might imagine, the video is a bleak, Orwell-referencing reminder of the NSA and GCHQ's invasive data-mining operations around the world.

German authorities are searching for a naked motorcyclist who went for a ride through Münster wearing nothing but a helmet and gloves.

[A Spanish reveler jumps into the harbor near Las Ramblas for the 104th annual Barcelona Christmas swim. The Copa Nadal, a 200 meter swim, has skipped only three years — when the Spanish Civil War interrupted proceedings between 1936 and 1938. Photo by David Ramos via Getty Images.]

All the Pope wants for Christmas is for atheists to work for peace.

A woman riding the Ronkonkoma branch of the LIRR this week displayed some impressive logic against her hecklers — insulting the size of their genitals and demanding they proved her wrong.

Iron Maiden has been making millions of dollars by figuring out the cities where their music is most heavily pirated — mostly in South America — and then focusing their tour in those locales.

Welcome to The 12 Days of Thatz Not Okay, a special holiday edition of a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Check back tomorrow for our next seasonal installment. As always, please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Santa has come and gone, leaving happiness and socks from that aunt you never see in his wake. What'd you find under the tree this year?

Ho ho, it seems we're spending this Christmastime deciding what color skin Santa Claus is allowed to have. Gather 'round the Yule log on your smart phones, younglings, and watch the old bigots on the permanent Naughty List try to invent another make-believe crisis of complexion. What race is Santa Claus? Well, if they really want to know then let's go ahead and tell them: Santa Claus is a magical human of African descent.

A wealthy Ohio developer who wanted to help Akron's homeless population hosted a gourmet four-course meal for 50 homeless diners this week.

[Australians celebrate Christmas Day as a man named Jesus does a handstand on Bondi Beach in Sydney. Image by Don Arnold via Getty.]

When Susan Rice appeared on 60 Minutes Sunday, she characterized the NSA as having "inadvertently made false representations," and refused to discuss trading Edward Snowden amnesty for information, saying, "Lesley, you know I'm not going to get into a negotiation with you on camera about something that sensitive."

Police were able to track down the four men who carjacked and killed a Hoboken attorney at the Short Hills Mall, in part because the suspects traveled to the crime scene in a car registered to the mother of one of the men.

Colorado quietly issued 348 licenses to marijuana purveyors yesterday, clearing the way for stores to start selling legal weed. Although those businesses also have to adhere to local government ordinances, at least eight stores in Denver are ready to begin selling when the new laws kick into effect on January 1st.

This could very well be little Laney Brown's very last Christmas.

Does your family have a weird holiday tradition? Come tell us in this post! And if you say your family doesn't have any weird traditions, we'll know you're lying.