[Crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford wears a Denver Broncos jersey at a press conference about something non-sports related, definitively proving that the Seahawks deserve to win the Super Bowl. h/t NewsBreaker]

Tonight, The Daily Show bid Sean Hannity a heartfelt “please, get out of our state” after Andrew Cuomo questioned the place of extreme conservatives in New York.

NBC Chicago reports that it might feel like -45 degrees tonight in the Chicago area, which is really, obscenely cold. Although a certain member of the Gawker staff thinks factors like “wind chill” are beefed-up “fraudulent numbers” designed to make you either a) stay inside forever or b) feel like a big ol’ badass for stepping outside for 5 minutes, I beg of you, Chicago-area people, do not go outside tonight.

Today in “silly things people do around fire” comes the tale of one man from Olathe, Kansas, who ran back into his burning house to save his Xbox.

Madden NFL 25—a game that thinks it can accurately predict the outcome of football games even though it totally said the 49ers would beat the Seahawks a few weeks ago and that didn’t happen—predicts that the Denver Broncos will win the Super Bowl.

Today, The New YorkTimes posted a defense of their inclusion of “pizza” on the “Meh List,” whichthey call “a much-beloved and much-maligned part of the One Page Magazine.” Upuntil now, I was unaware that the “Meh List” was “much-anything,” but now that theGrey Lady herself has dragged pizza into the mix, I must step in.

http://www.viddler.com/v/8039f731

Most proposalvideos are really awful, but that’s because they’re annoying. This one happensto be more on the “horrifying and baffling” side of the proposal spectrum —horrifying because of the unbridled terror and loud sobbing, baffling becauseshe says yes at the end.

After a grand jury last week declined to indict Officer Randall Kerrick in the shooting death of Jonathan Ferrell, a second grand jury today indicted the officer on the charge of voluntary manslaughter. "It is the first step towards justice," Ferrell's family's attorney told CNN.

A woman from ClarkCounty, Indiana, was held in jail for five months after being ordered to spendonly two days there.

“Methane gas from 90 flatulent cows exploded in a German farm shed on Monday, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, police said.”

On Saturday, a man successfully fought off a large shark, stabbing it with his knife, but not before he suffered a deep bite to his leg. Then he did what anyone would do: He swam to shore, stitched himself up, and had a beer at bar before finally going to the hospital.

Film director Quentin Tarantino has filed a copyright complaint in U.S. District Court in California against Gawker claiming infringement over this Defamer post, which included a link to a web site that was hosting a copy of The Hateful Eight, an unproduced script he has written.

"Take Grinded Nig, an American Nazi band, whose album Freezer Full of N****r Heads features a song entitled Jackhammered N****r P***y." In which a Scottish reporter crosses continents to cover the depressing "global network of neo-Nazi rockers."

A police captain in Gary, Indiana, says he believes a family's claims of supernatural terror in a rental house they've since fled. Levitating children, swarms of flies in wintertime, mysterious footprints, invisible friends, another child "walking backward up a wall in the presence of a family case manager and hospital nurse"—this movie-ready tale even features screaming Catholic priests performing exorcisms.

In a definitive work of media criticism, the California Supreme Court unanimously today ruled that Stephen Glass, notorious for fabricating stories for the New Republic and other magazines as a young writer in the '90s, is unfit for admission to the state bar. The court's 33-page decision is a comprehensive and pitiless accounting of not only Glass's initial misdeeds, but of the dozen years of obfuscation and evasion that followed, as he tried to work his way from journalistic disgrace to lawyerly respectability.

Perhaps you've never heard of Sabine Parish, Louisiana, up on the Texas border. It's most famous as the birthplace of Christopher Columbus Nash, who created the White League, a Christian white men's club like the KKK, except its members weren't anonymous. Old habits apparently die hard.

First the tragic wine spill in Canada and now this: On Saturday, a truck carrying 76,000 pounds of beef ribs caught fire on a highway in southern California, snarling traffic in the area for more than two hours.

A local politician and wildlife hunter was shot and killed by a hunting trap in the remote mountains of the Philippines, making him the fourth human victim of the "improvised shotgun traps" now used by hunters in the high-elevation forests 250 miles north of Manila.

During the Grammy awards last night, Taylor Swift took several perfectly normal pictures with other celebrities backstage. But wait–who's that guy in the background?