Pioneering comedian par excellence Sid Caesar died yesterday. Generations of comics who've dabbled in the awkward, the slapsticky, and the absurd owe much to Sid. But he's got another thing on 'em: Well into his seventies, Sid Caesar was buff as fuck.

The focus of this week's episode of the U.K.'s Secrets of South America was Argentina (last week's, featuring the clip of the beauty queen with mesh sewn to her tongue, was Venezuela). The show, a sort of modern imagining of the Prosperi/Jacopetti Mondo movies as hosted by a perky cross between Alexa Chung and Fiona Apple (Billie JD Porter), focused on the seeming contradiction between a society so liberal about sex (Argentina was, for example, the first Latin American country to legalize gay marriage) yet guided by the Catholic church.

Do you have hot skills doing "detailed social media research and analysis" and "on-the-ground native research and analysis"? Do you like foreign travel? Maybe you're the secret military contractor Uncle Sam needs to mine Twitter and Facebook to "identify violent extremist influences."

Ladies of class and purity should read this story in the Christian magazine Charisma, "10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry," warning of "The unbeliever," "The playboy," and other no-good men. But no-good men have their own things to be wary of.

A homeless man died just steps away from a Mojave Desert jail early Wednesday, after being released by sheriff's deputies who reportedly decided "he was able to care for himself."

Gay-themed website Queerty reports that Jack Schlossberg, the grandson of President John F. Kennedy and a junior at Yale, came out as gay in an essay for the Yale Herald before the paper’s editors mysteriously deleted his column and his Twitter account disappeared. Unfortunately for Camelot, the essay—and the Twitter account—are fake.

After five days of conservative—well, uh, semi-conservative—blazers, NBC commentator Johnny Weir is moving from silk and lace to chains and leather.

Earthbound Skymall catalog store Brookstone is "contemplating a possible bankruptcy," according to the Wall Street Journal. U were 2 vibrational for this world, Brookstone.

The former executive director of Project Veritas, conservative ratfucker extraordinaire James O'Keefe's investigative outfit, is suing O'Keefe and the company for "wrongful termination," alleging breach of contract and defamation. Hopefully, there's a highly doctored video involved somehow.

This is one way to get (very weird and painful) revenge: A woman who found out her boyfriend had cheated on her removed a tattoo of his name from her arm with a scalpel and mailed the bloody chunk of flesh to his home, which he shares with his new girlfriend.

It's one thing to tack to the center to win election in a bitterly partisan state. It's another thing to give up the ghost on the very issue that vaunted you to electoral recognizability in the first place. Wendy Davis, onetime progressive Texas hero, appears to be diving headlong into that latter group.

It's "a good thing" Aurora movie-theater mass-killer James Holmes "had a 100-round magazine," says a Republican Colorado state senator. "If he had four, five, six 15-round magazines, there's no telling how much damage he could have done until a good guy with a gun showed up."

Tragic news from Brooklyn: This morning, a pregnant woman was killed by a snow plow in Brooklyn's Sunset Park neighborhood.

Mike Rowe, a professional Regular Guy, is the host of show Dirty Jobs. He is also a pitchman for Walmart. This week, he took to his Facebook page to vociferously defend Walmart from critics. Allow some real Walmart workers to offer a counterpoint.

Today Show weatherman Al Roker is very angry with Bill de Blasio. At a Thursday morning press conference, the New York City mayor blamed meteorologists for botching their snow forecasts, thereby giving the city grounds to keep public schools open. “Early weather forecasts showed just 3 inches of snow incoming,” he argued. (It’s now at 9.5 inches.) That’s when Al Roker opened his Twitter account:

Sure, the footage of those Russian daredevils climbing the world's second tallest building was impressive. But it pales in comparison to this, rock climber Alex Honnold tackling a 2,500 foot cliff without a rope. The climb, which again, was done without a rope or safety harness, took more than three hours to complete.

An ex-con who calls himself "The God of Time" used his pickup truck to force a terrified young mom into oncoming traffic on a Washington state highway, prosecutors in Snohomish County said this week.

Malls that were once active but have since been abandoned ("dead malls") are fascinating relics of greed, consumerism, and our increasingly antiquated analog way of life that required actual motion through space to get the material possessions we don't need, per se, but covet. They're also creepy and kind of sad, if you think about the unrealized dreams of the people to tried to sell you that shit you didn't need. Dead malls are sweeping the nation in that agonizingly slow manner that dead things sweep.

On Thursday, Turkish police attempted to break up about 2,000 anti-government protestors in Ankara. In the middle the crackdown, police blasted Husna Sari, a reporter from Ulusal TV, with a water cannon.

Terrible and adorable at the same time.