Many were furious at figure skating's suspicious judging yesterday. But another great competitor was shut out of a medal entirely: Will Ferrell, who did an entire Downton Abbey routine in a skintight butler costume on Tonight yesterday.

A cleaning woman at an Italian gallery accidentally threw away thousands of dollars of art by New York modernist Paul Branca when she mistook his crumpled newspaper, cardboard, and cookie installation scattered across the floor for garden-variety trash.

New York mayor Bill de Blasio's two-car caravan was caught on camera speeding through stop signs on Thursday, just a few days after the mayor suggested lowering the speed limit as part of a new traffic safety initiative.

An animal trapper learned the hard way recently that if you mess with the baby moose, you're going to get the baby moose hooves.

It is as large as a men's size 11 boot.

A moronic asshole got arrested today after he posted to Instagram a series of videos of himself terrorizing Philadelphia residents with a pellet gun disguised to look like a handgun.

Dallas police expecting to save a woman from a sexual assault were bewildered last week when they stormed an apartment after a six-hour SWAT team standoff, only to find the apartment had been empty the whole time.

Critic Jordan Hoffman says he once worked for the Wolf of Broadway telemarketing theater tickets: "Listen," I'd say, "an all-deaf cast doing a musical version of Huck Finn may sound a little nuts, but what's the point of getting up in the morning if you don't try something different, right? You want Sunday matinees?"

"Cats are smart animals... They come down on their own at some point."

Eastman Footwear is recalling 12,000 children's shoes after "one report of an adult who scratched or cut his finger. No medical attention was required."

A Knoxville, Tennessee news crew was covering the near-fatal stabbing of a 61-year-old woman at an apartment complex Tuesday morning when the victim's apparently disturbed daughter approached them and confessed to the crime, with the camera rolling.

After centuries of American idiots drinking beer and doing stupid things, someone is finally taking a stand. Insurance companies! But also, The Atlantic's Caitlin Flanagan, in a new investigative piece, "The Dark Power of Fraternities." The occult forces seem to lie in dumb kids getting shit-faced falling to their deaths.

Indian officials are now deploying drones in their ongoing hunt for the man-eating tigress that has been terrorizing the region around Jim Corbett National Park. The heavily forested terrain is reportedly unsuitable for elephants, the traditional mobile tiger-hunting platform.

Magic.

A debate which has divided the union for nigh on three decades was swiftly and definitively ended on television last night, when a viewer calling in to Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live" asked guest Elizabeth Olsen (sister of the famous twins): "Who do you like better: Mary-Kate or Ashley?"

What’s Sean Hannity up to these days? According to Michael Calderone of The Huffington Post, the Fox News anchor is helping a Georgia-based group called the Tea Party Patriots amass a $1.5 million “money bomb” to mark the fifth anniversary of the right-wing Tea Party movement.

A "network of conservative religious groups" is pushing new "Jim Crow-style" legislation like Kansas' in at least nine other states—legislation that would make it permanently legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians. Jesus, America, you can be such a dick sometimes.

If Joe Newman doesn't win this election, maybe at least he'll let you put him in your pocket and carry him around.

Now is the time for "Hey, Science"—America's primary source of scientific education—in which we enlist real live scientific experts to answer your most most interesting and/ or inane scientific questions. Today: does snow make a city cleaner, or dirtier?

Tim Margis is the director of public safety for Concordia University in Chicago. Er, he was, that is, until a week ago, when he was arrested for ejaculating into the shoe of a female coworker in her campus office.