Rob Ford is scheduled to appear on tonight’s Jimmy Kimmel Live—not that Ford would know when “tonight” is, exactly. In a gag skit mocking Ford’s habit of not being aware of reality, the embattled Toronto mayor appeared a day early on Kimmel’s show, bursting through a pair of double doors, Kool-Aid Man-style, after Kimmel teased Ford’s Monday segment.

A 10-foot snake ate a crocodile whole after a titanic struggle that will probably inspire a SyFy original movie.

“Diversity was a leading motif for ceremony that was hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, a happy-go-lucky lesbian who spent most of the evening in a tuxedo.”

Jimmy Kimmel exhumed the corpses of the YouTube memes of yesteryear and extracted the last sliver of comedy from their bones by reimagining them as big-budget movie trailers.

Cool Pope Francis strikes again: On Sunday, the pontiff accidentally said "fuck" during his weekly blessing from the Vatican.

Here's John Travolta at Sunday night's Oscar ceremony, introducing the star of Frozen... Adele Dazeem? Uh...? Who's that?

The Oscars were last night, and like every other sane person on the planet you were busy watching True Detective. Luckily for you your non-sane correspondents at Gawker were watching the Oscars. This is what you missed.

Sorry Hilaria, there's a new top workout video in town.

Which ancient, neurotic pervert got more applause at the Oscars on Sunday night—Woody Allen or God?

California governor Jerry Brown is harshing on Colorado and Washington's multimillion dollar mellow.

The crowd-funded Veronica Mars reboot has a new gift for its devoted fanbase: the first two minutes of the film, set for release this month.

It's baaaaaack: IBT Media promised Newsweek would stay digital when it purchased the shell of a former weekly magazine—but then site's traffic tripled. Now they're repackaging the magazine as a "luxury item" at $7.99 a copy, on stands as early as Friday.

The average American spends 38 hours a year staring at brake lights. But not this guy.

A Miami teenager's overshare cost her family $80,000 last week after she posted a snarky, bragging Facebook status about a confidential lawsuit settlement agreement.

In advance of tonight's Oscars ceremony, if your last remaining critique of the Best Picture nominees is, "Why didn't any characters in American Hustle sound like they were familiar with the nuanced regional brogue of South Jersey and Philadelphia?", then the Times has you covered.

Secretary of State John Kerry will visit Kiev on Tuesday to show his support for the Ukrainian government, remarking that if Russia continues its militaristic advances, President Putin "is not going to have a Sochi G-8." This will be Kerry's first visit to the Ukraine as secretary of state.

In the wake of Bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox announcing that it lost $473 million worth of the virtual currency, many people who saw their money disappear have called for CEO Mark Karpeles to be imprisoned. Well, funny thing: it wouldn't necessarily be the first time Karpeles has been arrested for fraud.

What kind of ennui-laden chow are they feeding you, Swedish dogs? Make it stop.

And for good measure, Rahm "Ice Cold Indifference to Education, Violence, and Financial Security in the City of Chicago" Emanuel appears to feel right at home as he wades serenely from the 10-degree depths.