[Oscar Pistorius hugs his sister inside court at the end of the second day of his trial at the high court in Pretoria, South Africa, on Tuesday. Pistorius is charged with murder for the shooting death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Valentine's Day 2013. Image via Antoine de Ras, Pool/AP.]

In other California canine news, officials aren't fooled by the "SERVICE DOG" vest on your labradoodle.

Puddles the Sad Clown is just like teenage pop sensation Lorde, except that he's extremely tall, entirely mute when he's not singing, and is a clown. They do both have golden voices, though.

The D.C. Council passed a decriminalization measure today that would reduce the penalty for possessing an ounce of pot to a $25 civil fine. Unless the various federal police agencies feel like busting people under federal law, or Congress uses its colonial-rule powers to throw the whole thing out.

Today a swarm of celebrities came together in a Back to the Future-themed ad campaign for a real-life hoverboard. Just 30 years after the movie that made us fall in love with flying skateboards, they're here! ... Except they're not.

On the positive side, this means 10 out of 10 Americans think contact with HTML will prevent you from ever getting laid again.

People down here in America's dongle like driving. And drinking. And apparently, driving off the buzz from drinking at home on your way to drinking at the bar.

Texas death row inmate Ray Jasper is scheduled to be put to death on March 19. He has written us a letter that, he acknowledges, "could be my final statement on earth." It is well worth your time.

President Obama refuted Russian President Putin's claims that troops wearing unmarked uniforms in Crimea are members of local pro-Russian militias, not Russian soldiers. "I don't think that's fooling anybody," Obama said. Meanwhile, Russia reportedly test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile this afternoon.

It was only a few weeks ago that Rosa Torres and her young son lost Raffiki, their Rhodesian ridgeback puppy, out of their L.A. backyard. But now Raffiki has a new name and a new home—and her fate has some animal lovers questioning the ethics of the group that "rescued" her.

Here's a modest suggestion: Can the military recruit some people for their anti-sex assault corps who haven't, you know, been accused of sex assaults?

After a year-long war to get Subway to acknowledge the cockroach he found in his sandwich, Patrick Balfour has started buying ads on Twitter to get the restaurant chain's attention.

An 18-year-old high school cheerleader is suing her parents for kicking her out of the house and refusing to pay her college tuition.

Per Se, which calls itself “the urban interpretation of The French Laundry,” is considered one of the best dining establishments in New York City. The city’s health inspectors seem to disagree. Eater points out that the Columbus Circle restaurant racked up 42 “violation points” during a February 19 inspection—enough to earn a failing “C” grade if Per Se’s owner, American chef Thomas Keller, fails to contest the Department of Health’s findings. (In the meantime, the restaurant is required to display a prominent “Grade Pending” flier.)

As it was written, so shall it be. And Christ did write that thing about a well-regulated militia and bearing arms and, well, load me, Jesus, into the high-caliber rifle chamber of everlasting life!

Say you're a state bureaucrat. How do you make natural resources management sexy? With porn. Duh.

Here's a brief history of some lost, drunken blokes trying to talk noted physicist Stephen Hawking into coming along on their bachelor party.

The misery of Liza Minnelli stretches into yet another agonizing day. Paparazzi caught up with the living legend in West Hollywood (where else?) on Monday night, and a cameraman asked her what she thought about Ellen DeGeneres' Oscars joke at Liza's expense. ("Hello to the best Liza Minnelli impersonator I've ever seen," DeGeneres said from the stage to Minnelli in the audience during the opening monologue. "Good job, sir." The internet being the internet wondered if this was transphobic.)

Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin raises a troubling possibility: What if Barack Obama is too normcore to be a world leader?

Meet Creeper and Wino, two "homies" learning to hold AK-47s like OGs and trying to take the piss out of Bashar Al-Assad's "enemigos" in the middle of Syria's civil war.