Tipper Gore’s spiritual descendants are 20 year-old college kids. College kids are the new moms.

Poor, sweet, sagging Ted Cruz. The man who can barely get members of his own party to listen to him when he speaks in New York got thoroughly trounced by Donald Trump and John Kasich on Tuesday. Cruz’s showing was so bad in one part of Brooklyn that he only netted one single vote. Oh, wait—hold on just a second—it looks like Cruz actually won that precinct.

The ongoing federal investigation into corruption in the NYPD expanded this week, as the chief financial officer of an Orthodox volunteer security force was arrested Sunday. He is accused of bribing officers in the NYPD’s Licensing Division to exchange for handgun permits. The mayor’s office has frozen two City Council grants, totaling $35,000, allocated to the organization.

A specter is haunting Donald—the specter of Tupac.

The British government has a new message for vacationers hoping to soak up sun in the American South: Watch out, y’all.

More than a decade after six unarmed civilians were shot by police while trying to cross New Orleans’ Danziger Bridge in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, five former officers pleaded guilty in connection with the deadly shooting, NOLA.com reports.

This week, the Federal Aviation Administration grounded Donald Trump’s Cessna Citation X business jet, which flew as recently as Monday despite being unregistered since January 31.

Pity Reince Priebus, who needs to sit down for interviews and lie, through clenched teeth, about how much fun he is having watch his beloved Republican Party shatter around him, shards of glass pricking his eyeballs and getting stuck under his fingernails.

Let’s run down the list of good things about working for the presidential campaign of current Republican frontrunner Donald Trump:

After wins for Hillary and Trump in yesterday’s primary and a number of complaints from voters, including Martha Stewart, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has announced that his office is conducting an investigation into the New York City Board of Elections.

Chilly but civilized American neighbor Canada announced today that it plans to legalize weed by this time next year.

Today’s print edition of the Wall Street Journal contains the following ad:

It’s not completely outside of the realm of possibility that Limp Bizkit, a screaming band of white working man messiahs, would put on a show at a random gas station as a 4/20 gag. Unfortunately for thousands of confused internet users, though, Limp Bizkit will not be playing at the Sunoco Station in Dayton, Ohio this evening. Unless that’s what they want you to think.

According to the Associated Press, we have reached a point in the election cycle (and history) when it is mathematically impossible for anyone other than Donald Trump to win the Republican nomination before the convention in July—there simply aren’t enough delegates left.

Prosecutors have indicted two NYPD officers on assault charges for allegedly beating Karim Baker, a U.S. Postal Service worker. Baker claims he faced harassment from cops after unwittingly giving directions to Ismaaiyl Brinsley, the man who shot and killed Officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu last year.

According to the Guardian, the Department of Justice is investigating the global tax avoidance scheme revealed by the publication of the Panama Papers.

Last week, a judge unsealed court documents that outlined federal prosecutors’ allegations that former State Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, one of the three most powerful men in New York until his conviction on corruption charges last year, carried on at least two extramarital affairs during his time as an elected official. In the filings, the women are anonymized, but they have since been identified as Patricia Lynch, a lobbyist, and Janele Hyer-Spencer, a former assemblywoman and state employee.

Amid a “third wave” artisanal coffee boom in New York City, one cafe is “planning pop-up dinners where the dishes are paired with carefully selected coffee instead of wine.” Seems like that would keep you up late.

On Wednesday, the UN Refugee Agency announced that it had spoken to survivors of a maritime disaster reported earlier this week, in which as many as 500 refugees and migrants are rumored to have drowned in the Mediterranean Sea, somewhere between Libya and Italy.