Have You Seen This Jeb?

LOST: OUR SWEET BOY JEB

John Ellis Bush was last seen wandering the streets of Boston Tuesday night, when a student at Emerson happened to cross his path. Tragically, after a quick photo op, the former candidate escaped back into the night. Please help us bring our Jeb home.

Answers to: Jeb!

Age: A spry 63.

Sex: Male, neutered.

Distinguishing features: Glasses, beige, almost definitely sweater-less.

Personality: Low energy, very sweet to Barbaras, can be calmed by gentle clapping.

If you find Jeb on Boston’s dark city streets, please take him in (send us photos) and let a responsible adult know immediately. We’ve seen what can happen when Jeb is left to his own devices. No one wants that.