Early this morning, one truck carrying bread collided with another truck carrying deli meat on a New Jersey highway. Jersey residents are finally getting the lunch they deserve.

Peanut butter and jelly—on a wrap.

Despite lacking the wherewithal to make their own sandwiches, entitled "Millennials" are demanding that the sandwiches made for them come on bread that is "unconventional," "unique," or even "wacky." It's about time for some famous newsman to ghostwrite another book about WWII, so we can hear how a real generation ate.

As you experience the seasons, if you live in a place with such things, the greenery tends to adapt and change with the temperature and climate. Sometimes there are delightful little flowers, sometimes there is withering heat, sometimes there is crazy snow and you can make fun little shelters and play in the street. You can usually only experience one of these phenomena at a time, because Mother Nature wants you to dole out your appreciation.

Step off that elliptical—gingerly, now, so you don't trip, oops, you tripped anyway, oh God, how embarrassing, whatever, no one saw—the Telegraph reports that a new study has found that eating seaweed toast is basically the same as exercising.

Do you live in Paris and frequently stumble out of bars at 2AM with a craving for a bite of baguette? If so, you'll be totally psyched to learn that French baker Jean-Louis Hecht recently installed two bread-dispensing vending machines outside his boulangeries. Yes, that's right: For just one euro (and a bit of dignity), you can now enjoy a warm loaf of French bread 24/7. [via Grub Street]

Still hungry after last month's 2,300-calorie Mac & Cheese Quesadilla and footlong cheeseburgers? Try the latest American chain restaurant abomination: Denny's Fried Cheese Melt, in which deep-fried breaded cheese is embedded in more cheese, more bread, and fried again.

This strange video from the 80's was supposed to teach us how to make bread, instead, it quickly becomes one of the strangest things we'd ever seen.

The most pointless news story ever, in the history of the world [via Popbitch].