Donald Trump, it turns out, may not be the Christmas Grinch we all thought he was. No, he’s something much worse: a heat miser with a heart of coal, but a façade as warm and tan as a plump Christmas goose.

At a rally in Springfield, Illinois on Monday, Trump suggested that Americans boycott Starbucks over its use of red cups this year rather than ones adorned with reindeers and ornaments. The move angered some Christian customers, who say that it’s another part of the War on Christmas.™

The Republican presidential candidate also took an early opportunity to repeat the fact that, if elected, he will force his subjects to say “Merry Christmas.”

“If I become president, we’re all going to be saying, ‘Merry Christmas’ again. That I can tell you,” he said.

However, Trump is not exactly a coffee connoisseur, so should we really take his word for it? In his 2000 book “The America We Deserve,” he wrote:

“I’ve never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol. Never had a cigarette, never had a cup of coffee.”

And riddle me this, Mr. Trump: If the phrase “Happy Holidays” is so reprehensible, then why, in 2012, did you let it escape your lips??!

Maybe it’s Trump we should boycott this holiday season.

[Image via Getty]