A 44-year-old Obama critic was arrested for retail theft in Illinois last month after authorities say he shoved a vibrator down his pants and offered to show an officer his penis, The Smoking Gun reports.

According to police, an officer responding to a stolen merchandise complaint “noticed a large bulge” in the pants of Christopher Hucko at Lover’s Lane adult shop in Orkland Park on July 18.

“I asked Christopher what he had stuffed in his pants, to which he replied ‘my penis,’” writes arresting officer Anthony Carone in his report. “Christopher also stated he had a tattoo of a cherry on his penis and asked me if I wanted to see it.”

During a subsequent search, Carone says he found a $48 “G-Spot Delight” vibrator in the pants of the suspect, who claimed “he had no idea” how it got there. From Patch.com:

Hucko was arrested and locked up at the police station.

“While in the cell, Christopher stripped completely naked and would not put his clothes back on,” police said. He reportedly agreed to speak to officers without a lawyer present but merely “proceeded to make comments about his political views and derogatory comments about President Obama.”

When he was asked to sign a form, police said, Hucko put “his name as ‘Obama is a criminal.’”

Patch.com reports Hucko was previously charged with retail theft in March of 2012, when he was allegedly “caught trying to drive home with an electric scooter shopping-cart belonging to a store.”

[Image via Orkland Park Police Department//h/t Death and Taxes]