On Monday night, a bunch of preening airheads got on stage and took part in a meaningless contest. There was also a Miss Universe pageant. (Ha! We crack ourselves up!) This year's Miss Universe is Leila Lopes, Miss Angola, who beat out runners-up Olesia Stefanko of Ukraine and Priscila Machado of Brazil—where the pageant was taking place—by escaping from the labyrinth without being eaten by the minotaur. "You have to keep in mind that these women are not objects just to be looked at. They're to be taken seriously," said judge Connie Chung. [AP]