When the faceless editors of Wikipedia decide an article is not fit for public consumption, it’s gone, only accessible to the site’s top editors—at least, it was. But now we’re keeping track of all the articles Wikipedia doesn’t see fit to print, to present you with very best of the site’s weirdest and worst. (Plus: An extra special audio bonus this week only.) Please, enjoy.

Back in January, we related the saga of Kristy Althaus, a promising young college student and runner-up in the Trump-owned Miss Colorado Teen USA beauty pageant. She had apparently been stripped of her title for appearing in an online porn video. She now appears to be making porn a career.

In the clip above, 2013 Miss Venezuela First Runner-Up Wi May Nava describes the plastic surgery she underwent to compete in pageants (boob and nose jobs). She also talks about the piece of mesh that she has sewn to her tongue so that she can't eat solid foods (this description, btw, took place before she won her runner-up title). We've come so far as a species from The Real World L.A. when Tami had her jaw wired shut for the same effect.

Gay men are the people you want judging your child beauty pageant. There's a dramatically lessened chance they'll be there for pedo reasons, they are more likely to simultaneously care about and find the humor in the charade of pageantry and since child-having is at least more complicated for them, if it's an option at all, they're often less precious about kids and happy to talk shit about them. That was my experience, at least, and last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras brought everything I'm talking about way over the top. A panel of celebrity-impersonating drag queens judged the little girls who are drag queens in their own right. As the pageant director explained, "These judges work in the entertainment industry, and know change and glitz better than any other competitor." Haaay.

Overemphatic stage wink Zooey Deschanel once entered a beauty pageant, but didn't think it was "cool."

On Monday night, a bunch of preening airheads got on stage and took part in a meaningless contest. There was also a Miss Universe pageant. (Ha! We crack ourselves up!) This year's Miss Universe is Leila Lopes, Miss Angola, who beat out runners-up Olesia Stefanko of Ukraine and Priscila Machado of Brazil—where the pageant was taking place—by escaping from the labyrinth without being eaten by the minotaur. "You have to keep in mind that these women are not objects just to be looked at. They're to be taken seriously," said judge Connie Chung. [AP]

Meet 21-year-old Alyssa Campanella, your new Miss USA: She's beautiful, talented and, best of all, not willfully ignorant of hundreds of years of scientific knowledge. The winner of this year's Miss USA pageant believes in evolution!

Remember that terrible mother who said she gives Botox and "virgin waxes" to her 8-year-old daughter to improve her chances at beauty pageants? Good Morning America tracked her down. Apparently Kerry Campbell—an aesthetician who regularly injects botulims into her daughter's face—is real, and says she's doing nothing wrong.

Horribly abused children: they're popular on the internet. You've got your smoking babies, your swinging yoga babies, your hot sauce reality star babies, and your 130-lb morbidly obese babies. And now: Botox babies on the beauty pageant circuit.

Miss Mexico Jimena Navarrete, 22, was crowned Miss Universe on Monday after correctly answering the Sphinx's riddle and selecting the true grail. The runner-up was Miss Jamaica Yendi Phillips, who was quietly executed after the show. Click for more pics.

Nat Geo has a fine television show called Taboo, which last night explored the American obesity epidemic. It included a segment on the 'Miss Plus America' pageant. One contestant's skill was karate. Here, a clip of that skill. Taboo: destroyed.

Carrie Prejean and her breasts are headed to court. The ex-beauty queen turned anti-gay activist is being sued by the organizers of the Miss California USA pageant who say they paid for her boob job.

OMG LOL NOES!!11! We are so totes losing the 2007 Weblog Awards competition in the category of "Best Blog" to like Michelle Malkin and the HuffPoors! (That is my new band name BTW!) Is it because... you're all apathetic voters? Don't you know we care and we crave internets validation??? [Weblog Awards]

Here's Miss Teen USA contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton answering a politically-charged question about American's inability to locate their own country on a map. Her answer more or less directly proves the validity of the question. South Carolinians must be beaming with pride right now!