As you know because you are currently reading this blog post on your handheld device as you stand in line at Home Depot where you're purchasing plywood, duct tape, and guns (shhhh), Hurricane Irene is allegedly headed straight for New York City. Is it even worth worrying?

Forecasters say Irene is the biggest threat to the Northeast since Gloria, in 1985. That means that almost nobody here now has any idea what hurricanes are all about. Mayor Bloomberg even had to warn New Yorkers, "Do not swim."

No. Do not swim, during a hurricane.

The current forecast sure does put Irene's path right over NYC. The city has already issued a map to tell you just how bad your neighborhood is going to flood. We know that something is going to hit us Sunday. But what? New Yorkers love to panic about weather. LOVE IT. Let's be realistic, though.

5-1: NYC will be struck by an actual hurricane this weekend. Disaster ensues.
4-1: NYC will be struck by an actual hurricane this weekend. Inconvenience ensues. Griping Twitter posts reach record levels.
3-1: NYC will be struck by sub-hurricane-force winds this weekend, because the storm weakens after passing over the Carolinas. Hurricane-force griping ensues.
2-1: NYC will have a bad rainstorm this weekend. People will get wet. Weather reporters will be dramatic.

Stay positive, New York. And don't swim.

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