"Why does the Weather Bureau name killer, monster storms after people?" asks Mark Soifer, son of Irene, poobah of Ocean City, New Jersey. "My kind, loving and devoted mother (perhaps a bit bossy, but nice bossy) should not be associated in any way with a mindless mass of wind, rain, and destruction."

Hey, look at that, the Hudson River is running red. According to so-called scientists, this is just red clay from upstate that was washed into the river by Hurricane Irene. Or demon blood. Could definitely be demon blood.

According to the New York Times, Hurricane Irene boosted the Weather Channel to its best ratings in its 29-year-history. America sure does love rolling around in the sticky dread of natural disasters.

As the East Coast continues to clean up after the colossal let down of "Hurricane" Irene, at least there is one good thing that came out of the the days of food-hoarding, transit shutdowns, and watching Soapdish on Netflix Streaming (OK, Soapdish was a very good thing). Here's a great video of the wet and desolate city during the storm.

Jolly radio idiot Rush Limbaugh was in shock after Hurricane Irene didn't end up killing everyone on the eastern seaboard, and that the damage it did cause has been mostly well-managed by federal, state and local authorities. What's a Limbaugh to say about these generally positive developments? How about... Obama probably wanted the hurricane to be worse! Sure, say that.

Wha—? Maybe—? No, I have no idea, I'm not going to bother trying to evaluate. This surreal video apparently shows a pair of National Guard trucks driving down the street in Manville, NJ, fully submerged in water. At the end of the video, camo-uniformed guardsmen climb out the windows and onto the vehicles' roofs. As the increasingly annoying cameraman wonders, "How is that possible?"

According to figures from the Associated Press, at least 24 people were killed across eight states this weekend during Hurricane Irene. Sure the media deserves some criticism for the pre-storm hype, but that's a lot of people.

Poor Vermont! Even though it's America's 47th least-horrible state and a magical place of ice cream and cows, Tropical Storm Irene has been abusing it mercilessly. Severe flooding has submerged homes under brownish water, destroyed charming bridges, and taken a life. This video shows the Brattleboro farmer's market as it appeared on Sunday: like a river with broken tents floating in it.

While some television reporters bravely ate toxic sea bile and stayed strong in the midst of surprise penis invasions while reporting from the front-lines of the Irene War, others were frightened by the very thought of hurricane-tainted waters. Watch as this reporter, embedded in Asbury Park, N.J. and decked out in what appears to be a full-body weatherproof suit, runs from the puniest of ocean waves. Whoah! Let's get out of here!

Behold the sight of this poor Irene victim, whose bloated, furry body was spotted by this blogger on the sands of Long Beach, New York. What do you think it is? Don't say it's a "Montauk monster," because that guy was irreplaceable.

Restaurants in New York City have been tweeting their Sunday brunch offerings, not their structural damages reports. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is declaring "the worst" to be over. A few city streets were flooded, but it wasn't that bad, and the vast majority of people who live along Irene's blustery path up and down the East Coast have survived. How can this be?

As she's made her way northward, Irene has temporarily transformed the landscape of hundreds of American towns and cities—flooding streets, submerging homes, and downing trees. Take a look at what the storm has left behind. [Image of Baltimore, Maryland via Getty]

Hurricane Irene has reached New York City and is expected to hang around here until the afternoon before heading north into New England. Though she's still causing flooding, power outages, and heavy winds, she's been downgraded to a tropical storm—raging at only 65 mph, instead of yesterday's hurricaney highs. As we did yesterday, we'll keep you posted throughout the day—so keep checking back here for updates.

Below is a video of WTTG's Tucker Barnes casually giving a live report on Hurricane Irene today from Ocean City, Maryland while drenched in what he described as "organic matter" that "doesn't taste great." I wonder why it didn't taste great?

With just hours left before Irene pummels New York City, we can all agree on one thing: hurricanes aren't funny. They're scary!

If you don't live in New York City, you might be wondering what the place might look like and/or how it might change while being pummeled by a raging monster-cane. Thanks to a live-cam, you can find out ever so conveniently!

Sandbags, plywood, police tape, bottled water, and unbending courage: These are the survival tools of the disaster-prepared New Yorker. Check out our photo gallery to see how NYC has prepared itself for the soggy, windy Irene-ing to come.

The New York City's Department of Corrections' failure to develop an Irene-related evacuation plan for all the prisoners trapped inside Rikers Island has pissed off people who still remember what happened to prisoners during Katrina, and also those people who oppose drowning. There are still many such people in America (they're all on Twitter).

Richard Branson's sprawling home on his private island in the Caribbean tragically burned to the ground this week after it was struck by lightning caused by Hurricane Irene. Fortunately no one was injured, thanks in part to actress Kate Winslet, who was vacationing on the island and carried Branson's 90-year-old mother to safety.

While Weather Channel reporter Eric Fisher braved ferocious winds and rainy Irene-ness to bring us live reports from Virginia Beach (look at those fluttering pant legs!), a bunch of college-aged looking yahoos ran behind him, jumping up and down like their team had just won the Super Bowl. And then one guy NSFW-ishly pulled down his pants. Did I mention that this was live?