Climate change is causing rising oceans and more extreme weather. Even as beachfront development continues, beachfront living is growing ever more perilous. What happens when all the insurance companies decide to stop insuring anything by a beach?

A new study published in Nature finds that for the past three decades, hurricanes and tropical cyclones have been gradually moving away from the equator and towards the poles. Hmm. *Checks current location* Fuck.

The 2013 hurricane season has ended, and it was the weakest one in 30 years. On top of that, it's cold outside. This should lay that "global warming" crap to rest once and for all.

If you love excitement, you're going to love these last years of your life. Civil war, food riots, monster storms and a lot more apocalyptic religious extremism will spice up even the dullest and most comfortable existence, according to a new United Nations report on the now-constant insanity we boringly call "climate change." But even the weather seems to be capitalist, because the demons of global warming most enjoy hurting the poor.

The "monster Super Typhoon" is coming (to Hong Kong).

The first Atlantic hurricane of the season is coming.

Accuweather forecasts eight Atlantic hurricanes this season, including three that will hit the U.S. Sounds fun.

There are thousands of victims of Hurricane Sandy that no one is talking about: Rich people whose parties totally got ruined. Thankfully, the Wall Street Journal speaks for them.

Apocalyptic Snor'eastercane Sandy is upon the Northeast: flights are cancelled, school is closed, public transportation is shut down, and the supermarket is out of batteries and good soups. Here's a map of Sandy's projected path; New Yorkers, if you're wondering whether or not you live in an evacuation zone, here's a map. We recommend you read the following pieces (and write it all down on a piece of paper in case the power goes out).

If everything develops properly, the Republican National Convention will be struck by a hurricane.

Try not to let this devastating drought and historic heat wave get you down; soon, we'll have a succession of hurricanes to cool us all off.

Sweden is weathering a rare "tropical hurricane," forcing Swedes to use the term "tropical hurricane," with quotation marks, because this whirling dervish is strange to them, exotic, bewildering, foreign. Sweden's hurricane is named "Katia." She is Class 1, and tore through British Isles earlier, killing one. [The Local, The Local]

"Why does the Weather Bureau name killer, monster storms after people?" asks Mark Soifer, son of Irene, poobah of Ocean City, New Jersey. "My kind, loving and devoted mother (perhaps a bit bossy, but nice bossy) should not be associated in any way with a mindless mass of wind, rain, and destruction."

According to the New York Times, Hurricane Irene boosted the Weather Channel to its best ratings in its 29-year-history. America sure does love rolling around in the sticky dread of natural disasters.

Wha—? Maybe—? No, I have no idea, I'm not going to bother trying to evaluate. This surreal video apparently shows a pair of National Guard trucks driving down the street in Manville, NJ, fully submerged in water. At the end of the video, camo-uniformed guardsmen climb out the windows and onto the vehicles' roofs. As the increasingly annoying cameraman wonders, "How is that possible?"

Restaurants in New York City have been tweeting their Sunday brunch offerings, not their structural damages reports. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is declaring "the worst" to be over. A few city streets were flooded, but it wasn't that bad, and the vast majority of people who live along Irene's blustery path up and down the East Coast have survived. How can this be?

Below is a video of WTTG's Tucker Barnes casually giving a live report on Hurricane Irene today from Ocean City, Maryland while drenched in what he described as "organic matter" that "doesn't taste great." I wonder why it didn't taste great?

With just hours left before Irene pummels New York City, we can all agree on one thing: hurricanes aren't funny. They're scary!

If you don't live in New York City, you might be wondering what the place might look like and/or how it might change while being pummeled by a raging monster-cane. Thanks to a live-cam, you can find out ever so conveniently!

Sandbags, plywood, police tape, bottled water, and unbending courage: These are the survival tools of the disaster-prepared New Yorker. Check out our photo gallery to see how NYC has prepared itself for the soggy, windy Irene-ing to come.