Chainsaw-Wielding, Fish-Kissing Man Is America's Most Misunderstood Neighbor
Everybody say hello to Dale McDaniel, your new favorite Floridian! He's 52, has been arrested at least 34 times, allegedly shouts obscenities at people and pisses in his trash-strewn yard, drinks pretty much constantly, and has left an indelible impression upon his neighbors, many of whom say they fear him.
One neighbor accuses McDaniel of grabbing her by the throat once. Another neighbor says he curses out people with "every four-letter word that you've never heard of," which is none of them because we've heard them all, but still! Another neighbor claims that McDaniel chased him with a chainsaw and "can't take it anymore." Yet another neighbor who's quadriplegic says McDaniel slapped him in the face with a fish.
When a reporter caught up to McDaniel, he was holding a beer, a cigarette, and—of course—a dead fish. Does this guy have his schtick down, or what? Gone was his beard—he changes his facial hair quite often, maybe to keep his mugshot portfolio unpredictable—but a mustache, as floppy as his dead fish/face-slapping instrument, hung over his upper lip. When told his neighbors fear him, McDaniel said, "that's a good thing." Then he kissed his fish.
In the end, McDaniel denies he's a menace: "They just don't know how to deal with me." Oh, so he's a performance artist. Also, maybe a Pisces?
