Police say that a 38-year-old woman has admitted to sending a series of anonymous threats to a family in Champlin, Minnesota, CBS Minnesota reports. The first threat came in the form of a note in the mail that read, “The children look delicious. May I have a taste?”

Justin Bieber, transitioning into manhood before your very eyes on Comedy Central this month, won't be allowed to put his juvenile hooligan past behind him just yet. The former neighbor whose house Bieber famously egged is now suing him for an assault that allegedly took place two years ago.

Twain Thomas was sentenced to 15 years in prison last week after chopping down his neighbor's front door last February with a machete, apparently attempting to kill. The neighbor, James Cvengros, filmed the break-in and stopped Thomas by shooting him three times in the chest. "I know they were terrified," Thomas, 54, said in his sentencing.

A New Hampshire man faces charges of burglary, cruelty to animals and simple assault after police say he broke into his neighbor's apartment to strangle Oreo the Shih Tzu, seen above.

A janitor at a middle school in the Murray Hill neighborhood of New York was caught on the roof of the school masturbating to the view of a neighboring building where women were getting dressed in the morning. The New York Post photographed the man early Tuesday morning.

A Queens man has been posting pornographic photos in his windows because, according to his neighbors, he doesn't like that an immigrant, Indian family moved in next door to him. The man, "Jimmy," admitted to WABC that he posted the pictures, but said, "I'm drying them out, they got damp last night."

She drives a truck, he rides a Rascal-style scooter. She loves screaming the word "fuck," he loves yelling "cunt." According to a neighbor, who posted this video, he's "a sad man" and she's "a crazy mad woman." And it all came to a head yesterday when she knocked him down and backed over his scooter.

Ann Hornaday, the Washington Post's film critic, published an op-ed yesterday that implied that one of the principal reasons for Elliot Rodger's mass killing in Isla Vista was the white men of Hollywood's "escapist fantasies [that] so often revolve around vigilantism and sexual wish-fulfillment." Hornaday specifically called out both Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen's recently-released Neighbors as an example.

Can I tell my 14-year-old neighbor to stop singing because she sucks?

A banker and his artist wife wanted a bigger backyard so badly that they terrorized their deaf, old, retired-church-warden neighbor for five years — at one point even filing false reports in an attempt to have her declared insane and committed.

Nearly a decade after Central Perk burned to the ground, trapping all of the Friends inside it, David Schwimmer continues to be the lamest character in everyone's lives.

The Main Line. A tony, stony region of suburban Philadelphia where the cricket clubs chirp and the toddlers take Mandarin and the driveways are covered with dead mice and snakes. Just a beautiful, fancy area, full of old money and a few NFL players, and a shit ton of dead mice and snakes. Perfect for raising a family of humans or a family of dead mice and snakes.

"When push comes to shove, whose gonna win?" The bulldozer.

Ho-lee balls. Looks like some shit is about to hit the motherfucking fan in the ritzy Brentwood district of Los Angeles where some motherfuckers—who shall remain nameless but we all know who they are because their tremendous gate, a thousand feet (9 ft) tall, looms over our lives, blocking out the sun and giving our children rickets—have decided that the gate height regulations that have sustained peace in Brentwood area for millennia just don’t apply to them. Some people, with their rockstar husbands and their children named after common grocery store food items, have determined that the six feet of privacy offered by standard gates is unsuitable to their needs. FUCK IT, we’re talking about Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow is running for mayor of Bitchville as the nominee on the Gate Is Too Damn High ticket.

Angry jellybean Justin Bieber is being investigated for battery after a neighbor told police the popstar got physical with him during an argument Tuesday morning, according to TMZ.

Have you ever had a casual acquaintance who seemed totally normal and nice and the first time you went to their house they were like, "I can't believe you've never seen my house!" and you were like "I can't believe I've never seen your house!" and then you stepped inside and the floor was littered with mutilated doll bodies and it smelled like apricots and there was no furniture?

Everybody say hello to Dale McDaniel, your new favorite Floridian! He's 52, has been arrested at least 34 times, allegedly shouts obscenities at people and pisses in his trash-strewn yard, drinks pretty much constantly, and has left an indelible impression upon his neighbors, many of whom say they fear him.

To move into his brand-new home, all Kenneth Robinson had to do was fill out a form, write down that the home had been foreclosed upon and abandoned, take the form to his local courthouse, and hand over $16 to the nice clerk lady. So easy!

Most Americans think of our neighbor to the south, the land of Meh-hee-ko, as a place primarily populated by taco-wielding mariachi bands passing out tequila shots in a welcoming spirit of friendship, speaking "espanyole." We regret to inform you that that impression may be overoptimistic.

North Korea backed off its promise to deliver an "unpredictable self-defensive blow" over South Korean military drills today, but the North kept talking shit, saying the South hadn't learned "a lesson from the disgraceful defeat they suffered" last month. [CNN]