First Lady Michelle Obama, who has the nerve and audacity and dare I say uppitiness to want our children to eat better and live healthier, ought to be knocked down to her proper place upon hearing this: Illinois's 1st Congressional District, which includes Obama's South Side Chicago home turf, ranks 430th out of 436th in a new national health and well-being survey, and dead last in the "healthy behavior category." Boom.

This story was posted on Drudge, so you can guess the angle some folks are taking with this. That Michelle Obama wants to slap the cheeseburgers out of our blubbery hands because she's a big-government gastro-socialist, and yet she can't even slim down her own damn neighborhood. Never mind that Michelle Obama has never held office in Illinois's 1st Congressional District nor has she lived there in a long time. Never mind all that. The point is that this woman is destroying American values by planting a vegetable garden on the White House grounds instead of erecting a Sonic Burger on the South Lawn. Which the better Michele, the Bachmann Birther Overdrive, will totally do. [NBC Chicago, photo via Getty]