Let's Predict the Golden Globe Winners!
Sunday night is Hollywood's drunkest gilded night of the year, the annual bestowing of Golden Globe awards upon the golden people who rule the globe. Who will win? Who will lose? Let's go category by category making some predictions.
If you need to consult the list of nominees, you can find that here. And one little caveat: Though I may do this for a living (sort of), I am often deeply wrong. So if you put money in some sort of Golden Globes pool using these predictions, don't come crying to me when you lose terribly. Though, of course, should you win, I am owed a 70% share of the pay-out. OK, let's go!
Movies
Best Picture — Drama
Though both the The Fighter and The King's Speech are giving it a run for its money, I think The Social Network will pull it out in the end. It'd be a good way for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to collectively recognize the movie's large ensemble of fine actors, plus people are itching to honor a David Fincher movie with top awards.
Best Picture — Musical or Comedy
Burlesque? Not likely, thankfully. No, the likely winner was also a gay movie, in a more literal sense: The Kids Are All Right. This likely Oscar Best Picture nominee is basically a lock for this category.
Best Actor — Drama
Though James Franco could pull an upset for his arm-sawing work in 127 Hours, I'd be mightily shocked if newly minted Hollywood Star Colin Firth doesn't walk off with the trophy.
Best Actress — Drama
Halle Berry for Frankie and Alice!!! Ha, no. Definitely not. It's possible that the sometimes-weird HFPA could pull one of their mega-celebrity fawning moves and give it to Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole, but my guess is that Natalie Portman will pirouette to an easy victory, made all the easier because total lesbos Annette Bening and Julianne Moore are relegated to the Comedy category.
Best Actor — Musical or Comedy
Aw geez. This is always a tough category. Will it be Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland or Johnny Depp for The Tourist? Will it be Jake Gyllenhaal for his sexy penis-power salesman in Love & Other Drugs? I doubt it. My guess is Paul Giamatti for the little indie Barney's Version, because he deserves more awards. But Depp could very well go shuffling up to the stage come Sunday just to prove me wrong.
Best Actress — Musical or Comedy
As mentioned above, this is basically a duke-out between Julianne Moore and Annette Bening, both perpetual awards show bridesmaids. I think this is going to be Annette Bening's year, as she's been defeated twice by the Hilary Swank monster and everyone just feels real terrible about that.
Best Supporting Actor
Geoffrey Rush had an early lead with The King's Speech, but it seems that bellicose rager Christian Bale has come thrashing out of the shadows to steal his thunder. And rightfully so. Bale gets rid of all the action movie growling he's piled up in recent years and turns in a wiry, whirring Method performance worthy of all the prizes.
Best Supporting Actress
Everyone here is basically on even footing. Well, OK, let's toss out Mila Kunis. "Be sexy" is not the hardest direction for her to follow. I'd love to see Jacki Weaver win for Animal Kingdom, but I think that movie might be too small. Of the remaining three, I'm going to guess that Amy Adams and Melissa Leo split the Fighter vote and the goody bag goes to Helena Bonham Carter, as much for her whole body of work as for The King's Speech.
Best Director
Darren Aronofsky could be the upset, but David Fincher is the clear favorite here, for making the multiple timeline The Social Network into something so slickly coherent.
Best Screenplay
I'd be shocked if Aaron Sorkin didn't win this for his Facebook opus.
Best Foreign Film
My guesses would be either Biutiful or I Am Love, the latter of which might be a tad too artsy. So, what the heck, Biutiful it is.
Best Score
Hans Zimmer's epic booming played a large part in making Inception the dizzy wonder it was.
Best Original Song
I dunno. People liked Tangled, right? The one from Tangled
Best Animated Feature
I'm pretty sure Toy Story 3 has it in the bag.
Television
Since it's not really TV awards season, I'm going to present this list without commentary. But know that my picks are entirely informed and blazingly accurate! (Or not.)
Best TV Series — Drama
Mad Men
Best TV Series — Musical or Comedy
Glee
Best Miniseries or Made-for-TV Movie
The Pacific
Best Actor — Drama
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Best Actress — Drama
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Best Actor — Musical or Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Best Actress — Musical or Comedy
Laura Linney, The Big C
Best Actor — Miniseries/TV Movie
Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack
Best Actress — Miniseries/TV Movie
Claire Danes, Temple Grandin
Best Supporting Actor — Everything
Chris Colfer, Glee
Best Supporting Actress — Everything
Jane Lynch, Glee
[Photo via Getty Images]