Are you looking forward to experiencing strong feelings of rage, or possibly schadenfreude, as you learn how much money Wall Street bankers made this bonus season? Sorry; Morgan Stanley's CEO will keep it all quiet, using nothing but frightening threats.

Haha, Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman believes that he can somehow stop his firm's hundreds and hundreds of high-ranking employees from leaking their bonus figures. Haha.

Morgan Stanley Chief Executive James Gorman raised some eyebrows during a routine conference this week when he threatened to "personally escort" [out] anyone found leaking any details of the firm's compensation levels to the media, The Post has learned.

Haha, well, since James Gorman has angrily instructed his employees not to leak any details of their pay, surely the result will be that no one will leak any details of their pay. For the first time ever in Wall Street history. Haha.

Says here that Gorman "took up boxing when he assumed the chief executive post," which makes his threat all the more scary. Haha.

[NYP. Photo: AP. I wonder how the newspaper found out about the details of this conference call? Huh.]