Prince William and Kate get cuddly. Nicole Richie gets married, elephant in tow. Miley Cyrus soldiers on despite bong-ripping controversy, and Madonna is banned from TV. Sunday gossip round up is a blizzard of titillating details

  • Uproar in Britain, after the palace banned the manufacture of tea towels commemorating Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding—a years-long tradition. Only "permanent and significant" items will be allowed to be sold as souvenirs, so all you poor English people will have to scrape together your chimney sweeping earnings and buy a nice commemorative plate. To soothe the pain, the palace released the couple's official engagement photos. Great, they look like they're in an ad for STD medication. The two weren't able to show affection during their eight-month courtship, so now they're making up for lost time by getting all soft-focus and cuddly. Still, it's better than Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip's engagement shot. [People, Daily Mail, Daily Mail]
  • George W. Bush's niece Lauren Bush and her boyfriend, David Lauren (son of Ralph) are engaged. Page Six says that if Lauren takes David's last name, she "could have the most iconic name in the city": Lauren Lauren. I think Page Six is using a different definition of "iconic." [P6]
  • Jersey Shore's Jwoww has a new book coming out, a 700-page novel that attempts to capture all of American experience in the tale of an 1800s haberdasher. Actually, it's a dating guide called The Rules According to Jwoww. Included are such excellent advice as Rule No. 52, "Hair belongs on your head… nowhere else." [P6]
  • Miley Cyrus isn't letting her leaked bong-smoking video get her down. She's been filming a movie and was "a total pro" on the set. Was it a movie about smoking bongs? [TMZ]
  • Madonna will not be appearing on Larry King replacement Piers Morgan's new CNN show. "She is too boring. She is too vegan for TV," he' said. "We have Lady Gaga now so Madonna is banned from my show." Catty! Guess this means U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon is definitely not on the guest list either. [Showbizspy]
  • Nicholas Cage somehow owes the U.S. government $14 million in unpaid taxes and fees. He's been paying it off very slowly: From 2002-2004 he chipped away at $360,545. At this rate, he'll have had four separate comebacks and downfalls by the time he's paid off the debt in full. [TMZ]
  • You can buy some of Michael Jackson's amusement park rides if you want. Cleaning extra. [TMZ]
  • Nicole Richie and Joel Madden got married yesterday. There was an elephant. Too bad Katy Perry and Russel Brand did the elephant-at-the-wedding thing first. [People]
  • Comedian Katt WIlliams has been ordered to pay $577,000 to a man because he sicced his dog on the guy's own dog. Not funny. [TMZ]