ABC unveiled the new cast of "stars" for DWTS tonight, and it was about as ridiculous as you might imagine. We already knew that the Situation and Bristol Palin were signed on; who else is Hollywood regurgitating this year?

First, the women of the cast:

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No real surprises as people are wither trying to hang onto the last thread of their fifteen minutes (Patridge, Palin) or resuscitate a long-dead career (Brandy, Henderson - obviously a second choice to Betty White). It seems like the biggest question of the season will be whether or not the re-animated wax sculpture that is Jennifer Grey will be able to pull off a samba without shattering. And, seriously, Margaret Cho? Remember when she was edgy and stuff? Yikes.

As for the men:

[There was a video here]

Ok, first, the Situation couldn't show? Is he on lockdown imposed by MTV and why didn't that lockdown apply to yesterday's disasterous interview at the Emmy's? And Bolton couldn't be there either because he was probably doing something super important. Other than that, God's love will for Kurt Warner will probably be tested in a major way since he couldn't even look graceful while be surrounded by 300 pound linemen. He's joined by another ex-athlete, Rick Fox, who tried acting for a bit and hopefully this will be the end of that debacle. Cory Massey is so unfamous that he gets a pas, and last but not least, David Hasselhoff. Seriously, isn't it enough already?

It seems like DWTS has basically stuck the script with this one - a few starlets, a few athletes, a few stars way past their prime. It's all so by the book at this point, but for some reason, America will watch anyway. It's kinda sad.