Last night, American politics changed forever: hilarious sex dingbat Ben Quayle successfully purchased a congressional primary victory in Arizona, with father Dan Quayle's credit card. Hear that, smearmongers? Don't ever question the Scion of Quayle again.

Quayle, the "lawyer and businessman" who mostly just writes sex tales for Scottsdale sex websites, defeated nine other insane screamers last night in Arizona's 3rd district Republican primary. Now he's one measly general election victory away from making it to Washington, crushin' skulls, and stopping Barack Obama, "the worst president in history."

Congrats, Ben, you goddamn punk! We'll be watching as you make history this fall.

[Image via AP]