Maxim's new Lindsay Lohan cover story coincides with the starlet's freedom. Gisele Bundchen tells women what to do with their breasts. Christina Hendricks used to be goth. Pregnant man has third child. Tuesday gossip lifts and separates.

How many secret photoshoots did Lindsay Lohan do in the days before she went to jail? The latest: She's on the cover of next month's Maxim, and her alcohol-monitoring SCRAM bracelet is visible in one of the boudoir pics. She also did an interview. How she felt going into prison: "I am feeling strong. I've experienced a lot in my life, and my mom has given me a lot of faith. This too shall pass." Her goal for the next year: "To focus on myself and my work and to move all press on me to focus on the work I do. Also, I'd like to do more work in India and travel to Malawi." Please say she's thinking about adopting an orphan. In other news, Complex magazine is feeling worse and worse everyday. [Maxim, NYPost]

  • In other LiLo news, her "secret jail hobby" was writing "every single thing about her life" so she can someday turn it into a book. Just like Martin Luther translating the New Testament behind bars. Lindsay Lohan: Jailhouse confessor of our times. [TMZ]
  • Gisele Bundchen thinks breastfeeding should be mandatory for the first six months of a newborn's life. Now everyone's calling her a "smug mother," which is the kiss of death in the ravenous mommy blogosphere. Those ladies are out for blood. Good luck, Gisele! [DailyMail]

Quoth Lady Gaga: "I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina." Her new Vanity Fair cover features her with flowing gray hair, sleepy eyes, and her fingers in a peace sign. (If she's already reached her Cher phase, how many reinventions are left?) She describes herself as "lonely... it's my condition as an artist" even when she's in relationships: "I'm drawn to bad romances. And my song ["Bad Romance"] is about whether I go after those [sort of relationships] or if they find me. I'm quite celibate now; I don't really get time to meet anyone." [VF]

  • In the early '90s and at the age of seventeen, stupefyingly attractive actress Christina Hendricks was goth. There are yearbook pictures. [BestWeekEver]
  • Courtney Love's wardrobe is insured for $10 million, a fact she reveals as part of her campaign to rebrand as a fashionista. Regarding her new (admittedly addictive) blog, WhatCourtneyWoreToday.com, "It is kind of vain and stuff," she admits. The fashion world is divided on the issue of Courtney: "Here you have someone whose daughter has literally disowned herself from Love and sought the help of the government to keep her away from her, and Courtney's more concerned about her outfits than getting her daughter back," sniffed one fashion editor. In fashion, Courtney has chosen the only field cattier and more judgmental than music. Good thing she's scrappy. [NYPost]
  • Guests at T.I.'s wedding to Tameka "Tiny" Cottle: Rihanna, Nelly, Ashanti, Usher, Jamie Foxx, and Ke$ha, who probably wept with joy to be included among so many real stars. "User kept sending dozens of bottles of champagne with sparklers to the new couple, while Jamie Foxx serenaded them by rapping." [P6]
  • Charlie Sheen's 30-day jail sentence for his Christmas day attack on wife Brooke Mueller will be entirely subsumed by "time served" in rehab, which means he'll spend literally a few seconds in jail—just long enough to process and re-release him. The penal system is funny that way. [TMZ]
  • Kourtney Kardashian was spotted scouting locations for a New York branch for her clothing boutique, Dash, which already has branches in Miami and L.A. The Big Apple anxiously awaits the day when its women can drape their big apples with Kardashian clothes. [P6]
  • Speaking of eastward expansion: Twilight star Ashley Greene is moving to New York, and is looking at some fancy pants downtown rentals. "She plans to be bicoastal." [P6]
  • "Pregnant man" Thomas Beatie, who is transgender and still has functioning female reproductive organs, just had his third child, a little boy with light brown hair and blue eyes. "It was a very quick labor. He nearly didn't make it to the hospital and almost had him in the car!" said a "source." (Hospital employee?) Mazel tov to the happy family! [Radar]
  • "Saudi Princess Pays Retail." Princess Maha al-Sudairi went on a $15 million three-day shopping spree in Paris, including $75,000 in one lingerie store. Her husband is second-in-line to the Saudi throne. [P6]
  • Living separately, estranged Hollywood blow-up dolls Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag share nothing but their puppies. Heidi filed for divorce last week, and it seems like this separation is the real deal, mostly because Heidi hasn't been using it for photo ops, so what other motivation would she have? The house of mirrors that is Speidi is finally collapsing, maybe-probably, almost-yes-we-think. [People]