In your merry Monday media column: Happy birthday to the Huffington Post, Time Inc's magical advertising salesmanship, working for Felix Dennis is always a party, and the biggest dope ever on television, revealed!

  • Huffington Post is five years old! CJR celebrates with five pieces on the online dynamo that is The Huffington Post, the site that proved that liberals on the internet are just as dumb as Republicans on the internet, comment-wise. I sure thought it was a dumb idea when it launched, but boy oh boy have I been proven wrong. America cannot get enough of popular celeb friend Arianna Huffington. She sows, we all reap!
  • Time Inc. is now guaranteeing advertisers "that certain numbers of people will remember ads or take action on them," or Time Inc. will keep giving them free ads until "certain numbers" of people have done so. You simply cannot lose, by advertising in magazines. This guarantee will save print. No it won't.
  • Awesomely entertaining publisher and suspected murderer Felix Dennis rewards his employees of the year by sending them off to his palatial Caribbean hideaway, complete with "two swimming pools and underground games room." Although Felix may not be there in person to smoke crack with.
  • CNN's Twitter hairboy, Rick Sanchez, is "the biggest dope ever on television." Do you know who said that? Glenn Beck. That's enough for today.