You may want to be seated as we deliver this news: Arthur Kade, the internet's biggest vagina, had a near-death experience yesterday. But as one fameball wavers on the precipice, another fameball friend could soon make her return!

First, Arthur Kade's harrowing experience.

today while in the gym for the second time with one of my good friends (I had just taken his NO2 supplement at his house), I started feeling lightheaded and my heart was racing, and I actually pulled him into the locker room because I thought I was having a heart attack. It's amazing what you think about when you may be dying, and what went through my mind was in this order: 1) I can't let millions around the world down, 2) I wonder what the media will say about this if I land in the hospital in front of the Gen Pop, so I need to do this in private, and 3) I can't let this happen when I am about to make millions, I can have any girl I want being Arthur Kade, and I am clearly on my way to Little Oscar.

I think we echo all of humanity's sentiments when we say: Don't go with the cheap stuff, dude—make sure you take genuine NO-Xplode. Hardcore pumps and smooth, even energy that still gets you crucially ripped.

The other exciting news: Emily Brill, the Ultimate Narrator of the internet's pre-Kade era, may be making a comeback. She tells us via email (in response to our question): "I've gone back to writing. I'm working on a book, but there's nothing official to report. It's a recent decision."

Fameballs: Don't act like you do not care for them.