In your jobby Friday media column: Rebecca Dana to Newsweek, Foster Kamer to Esquire, Tim Arango to Baghdad, and Barry Diller to the easy life. And, Emily Brill.

Journo-heiress and ultimate narrator Emily Brill is bursting back upon the media scene in a major way! She's under assault by Harvard University! She has a new blockbuster work of journalism on the way! Come, marvel!

In your sizzling Tuesday media column: Michael Hastings has a war book coming, talking about Howie Kurtz is more important than anything, The Upshot finally launches, Clay Shirky says print is dead, and Emily Brill's back in action.

NYU took free courseware from PaidContent's founder; your outfit freaked out Caroline McCarthy; and Emily Brill called on Google to live out loud, like her. The Twitterati eyed their circumstances warily.

You may want to be seated as we deliver this news: Arthur Kade, the internet's biggest vagina, had a near-death experience yesterday. But as one fameball wavers on the precipice, another fameball friend could soon make her return!

Steven Brill has a reputation for being a media wise man—a deep-thinking mogul who's always spotting the opportunities of The Future. Which is kind of strange, since the majority of his projects have been ostentatious failures.

Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:

Heiressblogger and ultimate narrator Emily Brill is pulling some shenanigans! Her blog seems to have been erased. The ghostly message replacing it: "Hey New Yorkers, One year on the blog was always the plan. Now working on long term (and paying) projects. Yours, Emily"

We got this sweet picture of media heiress and ultimate narrator Emily Brill looking fancy on New Year's Eve. So as an excuse to run it, let's hear Emily's analysis of MTV's The City:

Today is Emily Brill's birthday! Take a moment, if you would, to reflect back on what the young media heiress has accomplished in this past year: inspired by a mean Gawker post, she founded her very own blog, triumphed over disease, traveled to distant lands, posed provocatively, wore her pearl necklace, stood resolutely with Sarah Palin, and finally became the Ultimate Narrator. Quite a time. She's celebrating today by going to FAO Schwarz to "pick out two animals," then maybe going to a blowjob party. Click through for one more fun picture of Emily in devilish party mode. We salute you, Ms. Brill:

Oh Emily Brill. The blogging (she's Hamilton's favorite New York writer, for serious) media heiress has stooped to our level. Last night she decided to swallow the horse pill of her pride and watch an episode of bitchy Upper East Side teen soap opera The McLaughlin Group Gossip Girl, and then wrote about it! It could be seen as direct competition for our swatting-at-a-bug-zapper ramblings about the show, except it's much better and, like, informed. You see, unlike us, she's from the world of dough-headed Upper East Side kids, so she can totes relate (or not) to all the interesting characters. She took notes, with her hands!, last night, weighing in on important matters like "is Blair wearing Juicy?" and "did you know that most girls I know... do not like 1Oak??" I did not know! She's posted the chicken scratch on her little website and we've put the pages down below for you too, in case you're lazy (you are). David Mamet scribbles on napkins too, Emily! See what you can parse. It's kinda hard. I think she insults the Bronx in some capacity.

Burnout: it happens to the best (and the worst!) of bloggers. Everyone's susceptible—even professional unpaid societyblogger-heiresses like Fifth Avenue Misfit Emily Brill. Her blog was down for like, days! (Everyone has those George Constanza moments where they storm out of work in a huff, only to return the next day pretending like they didn't quit.) We eulogized her and asked her to come back over the weekend, but only for our own snarky, selfish purposes. Now, the Brill is back, bitches ("I took things down for a bit of the timeout"), and she's ready to continue serving as our Ultimate Narrator:

Since she came into the blogging world just a short time ago, Emily Brill's complete lack of awareness has been properly appreciated by fameball connoisseurs the world over. Is the future heiress to the Brill fortune now gone like Keyser Söze? Some are speculating that Emily terminated her blog because of an ultimatum by her parents after some less-than-bright comments about being lost in lower Manhattan and only seeing signs with foreign lettering on them. Wait, you're saying she doesn't have a translator with her at all times? Pray this doesn't mean an end to an era.As Stevie Nicks so meaningfully informed us in "Landslide", "time gets bolder/people get older/I'm getting older too." We just assumed that didn't apply to people with giant trust funds. If this really is the end of Essentially Emily, bring on Daniel Stern for some Wonder Years-style narration, and enjoy the greatest hits of the poor man's Mary Rambin:

Dylan Lauren celebrated the re-launch of Dylan's Candy Bar on Monday night with a bash at her Third Avenue store. In addition to siblings Andrew and David and mom Ricky, guests included Woody Allen and Soon-Yi (with their kids), Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump Jr. and wife Vanessa Trump, Lauren Bush, Dan Abrams, Olivia Palermo, Katie Lee Joel, Rachel Roy, Fabiola Beracasa, Stacey Bendet, Eric Villency, Jamee Gregory, Bettina Zilkha, Amy Sacco, Thom Filicia, Dori Cooperman, Ingrid Sischy, Dave Zinczenko, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Karen Duffy, Kira Plastinina, Jason Biggs, Tyson Beckford, and fraudster Tatiana Boncompagni. [PMc, NYO, Wireimage, GoaG]

Emily Brill: "This place is so beautiful. It sucks to go home alone. Movie star earlier. But I told him no. I’m a prude. Sorry. I wonder what my friends from brown did tonight. Or maybe they didn’t do anything. I bet they all got 7 hours of sleep. or at least 6. One of them had a birthday this wknd and didn’t even invite me. Asshat. Sent via BlackBerry" [Essentially Emily]

Good morning! We're bringing back our Gawker Pin-Up feature. Today's candidate: socialite and publishing heiress, blogger Emily Brill. She's channeling Sarah Palin and holding a gun. Brill is usually eager to highlight her uptown upbringing—as she told Page Six magazine, "I didn't come from a chicken farm—I cam from Dalton." (Have any suggestions about our next pin-up? Who would you like to see shirtless and holding a gun?)

To our great disappointment, media heiress and Palin-supporting blogger from the planet Pluto Emily Brill did not offer up one of her patented "OMG live blogs" from last night's debate. On the plus side, she is finally putting this whole "pearl necklace" issue to rest:

Yesterday we told you the media heiress and fervent Sarah Palin fan Emily Brill was planning an exclusive party to watch the VP debates and live blog them, for some reason. As a salve to the wounded egos of those of you unable to attend, Guest of a Guest caught up with Emily for an awkward sidewalk interview about life and politics that somehow just makes our outlook on this nation even bleaker. "You still have no idea. Trust me," writes Emily. If only we could. Watch it after the jump, while weeping:

Apparently there's some sort of political "debate" tonight in which a crazy man from Delaware is going to be yelling at the young and clueless child bride of a Russian fur trader. Yes, Joe Biden is debating Sarah Palin tonight—winner gets the most meaningless job in politics. And now, like Rose La Touche hosting the Lincoln-Douglas debates, self-appointed socialite and heiress Emily Brill—operator of the most meaningless blog in politics, Essentially Emily—is hosting a "strictly uptown" live-blogging debate event. No sneakers! You're probably not invited, because it's seriously exclusive, but the invitation is after the jump anyway: Oh, and Update: In a brand new post! Ms. Brill discusses her invite-only soiree with her aspirating "readership" and asks the very, very important question: "ESSENTIALLY ASKING: what do you want to know about my friends’ political views?" To which the only response is: "Abso-fucking-lutely nothing." No, but seriously: "go ahead, ask away! they might just answer for themselves tonight. holla!"

Heiress and ultimate narrator Emily Brill on Sarah Palin: "But beyond discourse, she’s even inspired people to take risks in expression. I have one ‘boldfaced’ friend who finally started wearing an Obama pin to events after the Palin announcement, against the wishes of the conservative ’society’ family he comes from. So whatever you think of Palin, you’ve got to give her credit for engaging people and reinvigorating both sides of the spectrum." Mmm yes! And have you read Emily's presidential debate live blog? Do it now. [Essentially Emily]