Even though the "Values Voters Summit" was just last week in DC, Conservatives had themselves a "Take Back American Conference" this last weekend. This one sounds even crazier.

The conference, organized by Phyllis Schlafly (she is still around!), took place in St. Louis, which was a neat trick because it meant that even though five congress members and various presidential contenders were there, no one actually covered it, because who wanted to go to St. Louis this weekend?

Issues discussed: "How To Counter The Homosexual Extremist Movement," "How To Stop Socialism In Health Care" and "How To Recognize Living Under Nazis & Communists."

Oh, and Joe the Plumber was there.

Wurzelbacher was given a golden wrench and golden plunger by Reps. Price and King, the purpose of which was to throw a wrench in the works and to flush out Washington, according to the Free Press. He lamented the value placed on good speeches by politicians, quoting Benjamin Franklin's comment that "well done is better than well said."

And Michele Bachmann! Whoo boy! She said that if conservatives take control of Congress next year they will "repeal" ACORN and "defunding the left is going to be so easy and it's going to solve so many of our problems."

And Mike Huckabee wants to somehow send the east side of Manhattan adrift, into the sea, because of the UN building and because he is a terrorist.

According to Huckabee, "it's time to get a jackhammer and to simply chip off that part of New York City and let it float into the East River, never to be seen again!" We are pretty sure the UN building would be seen again! If it avoided running aground in Williamsburg it would probably just wash up on Montauk.