Teens Flock to Denny's for Inexplicable Dork Band Promotion
Hey, kids: We've noticed you all aren't hanging out at Denny's all night as much as you used to. Denny's wants you back, teenage vagrants! Come meet your "cool" bands, at Denny's! Like Rascal Flatts. You kids like that, eh??
You kids went wandering off to your Taco Bells and whatnots instead of sitting around Denny's for three hours at 4 a.m. chainsmoking and downing cup after cup of coffee because you are probably on some drugs, as was the style in my day. Denny's is determined to bring you back, god damn kids!
Between the hours of 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. it pipes in rock and country music and it is scheduling after-concert parties for up-and-coming bands. It has added late-night menu items fashioned by well-known musicians including Rascal Flatts and Good Charlotte. On Tuesday, singer Jewel is slated to concoct a new Denny's menu item at a New York test kitchen.
Official concert after-parties at Denny's? Good Charlotte burritos? Jewel? WHAT IS THIS THING?