Last night, as her husband sat in jail and reporters and photographers continued their stakeout of her home, Ruth Madoff was like, hey, I need some cheese! She went to the grocery store. Just spontaneously.

Finally, something for the bored-outta-their-minds reporters on the Madoff family stakeout beat! What we imagine to have been a small media mob tracked Ruth to the Food Emporium, where she picked up some American and Jarlsberg cheese, and was looking for detergent to WASH AWAY HER SINS, obvs. But she was fed up with all the paps!

"Oh, this is crazy, forget this!" she fumed. "Oh, very exciting, I went to the grocery store."

Ha, Ruth Madoff sounds like my mom, if my mom was suspected of fraudulently pilfering millions while overseeing the books of the biggest financial fraud in US history. If this was a publicity stunt to make Ruth Madoff seem more like the average person, it really sucked. Jarlsberg cheese? Okay, Mama Warbucks!

["Rat joke."]

Pic via the Post.