In a surprisingly relatable report, Page Six has the “exclusive” on what 74-year-old Ruth Madoff was doing while her husband’s Ponzi scheme was crashing to the ground: smoking a lot of weed.

Frank DiPascali—Bernie Madoff’s right-hand man, who federal investigators flipped as part of a plea bargain in 2009—died on Thursday of lung cancer, the New York Daily News reports. DiPascali was 58

Five former aides to Bernie Madoff have been convicted of participating in his $17.5 billion Ponzi scheme. In their defense, he was a great boss.

Fox Business Network financial holler-er and New York Post columnist Charles Gasparino has not been paying very close attention to the Bernie Madoff case. Which does not stop him from writing about it.

"A former JPMorgan Chase banker who managed Bernard Madoff's account said the con man was on track to receive a $200 million loan less than a month before his arrest." Whoops.

Federal prosecutors are reportedly seeking a guilty plea on "at least a single criminal charge" from JPMorgan in relation to allegations that the bank purposely turned a blind eye to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme.

JPMorgan Chase, the massive and uncontrollable bank-monster which just paid a $13 billion fine and is run by a CEO who is doing a great job, now reportedly finds itself mired in yet another massive legal scandal. They're consistent, let's give them that.

You heard of this fella, Bernie Madoff? Runs some sort of money management place in Midtown. Great guy to work for. The best. If you're job-hunting, that is absolutely the man you wanna work for.

Put your righteous indignation on ice. The rap video circulating around the Internet—purportedly put out by Bernie Madoff's nephew—is just some kid on Long Island trying to get famous by invoking a villain that defrauded investors out of billions.

Stephanie Madoff Mack, widow of Bernie Madoff's son Mark, has written a book — The End of Normal: A Wife's Anguish, A Widow's New Life — about losing a husband to suicide after he played a central and implicit role in the biggest financial fraud in history. (First sentence: "Every night before going to sleep, I put a fresh towel down on my side of the bed, knowing it will be drenched with perspiration by the time I bolt awake, precisely and without fail, at 3:51 in the morning." Imagine the audiobook, voiced by the author, lulling you to sleep!)

Ruth Madoff appeared on 60 Minutes this evening for her first interview since her husband Bernie was arrested nearly three years ago for perpetrating the largest financial crime in U.S. history.

Bernard Madoff has told ABC News' Barbara Walters—in an interview on the occasion of his daughter's book—that he feels safer in prison than he has in 20 years.

Bernard Madoff's wife Ruth has told 60 Minutes, in the only interview she's ever given since her life unraveled, that she and Bernie tried to kill themselves on Christmas Eve 2008.

Here's a trailer for Tower Heist, the star-studded Brett Ratner (shudder) comedy about a bunch of apartment building employees who decide to rob the place's swindling, Bernie Madoff-esque richest tenant. Timely!

There have been several Bernie Madoff auctions over the last couple of years, but one over the weekend in Florida was perhaps the creepiest. Items from Madoff's Palm Beach estate included leather chairs, books and a Rolex that brought in around $400,000. Someone even spent $200 on 14 pairs of Madoff's boxer shorts.

Convicted Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff has a lot of time to kill in jail. So what does he do? Well, for one thing, give jailhouse interviews—such as this most recent one to the Financial Times—where he can rail about the banks he believes (more or less accurately, in our estimation) were complicit in his scheme. But also: Keep up with his mail (of which he gets "lots," all from "well-wishers"); work at the prison commissary ("10 a.m. to 7 p.m., four days a week"); and, apparently, work on "ethics courses," for which he's been solicited by "several business schools," including Harvard and Northwestern. Oh, and also, read:

The New York Times interviewed a "noticeably" thinner Bernie Madoff in prison and, wouldn't you know it, he said that "unidentified banks and hedge funds were somehow 'complicit' in his elaborate fraud," and also this:

The Post once again has spoken to a "recent inmate" at the prison where Bernie Madoff is serving life, this time with Bernie's reaction to his son's suicide, and that he's pissed off at Ruth for not visiting him.

Prosecutors have struck a deal that will bring in $7 billion to compensate victims of Bernie Madoff's scam.

Bernie Madoff's son Mark, who hanged himself last weekend on the second anniversary of his father's arrest, will be cremated, according to the Post. The family has decided not to hold a funeral service. [NYP]